Going with out, do you have what it takes?

So I saw on another web site which I won't name here, an idea to go 21 days without sugar, white flour, soda, treats, and butter, so in other words all things extra yummy and delicious.  I thought that maybe I should give it a try, since I have been working out and sorta watching what I eat, and I haven't seen much in the line of results other than my mental state had improved. 

Well, first off, I want to say that I am not completely crazy, I knew I couldn't cut everything out, so I kept potatoes, but I didn't eat them fried.  Also I didn't cut out all sugar, because frankly there is sugar in all sorts of things and I didn't want to go crazy reading labels, now don't get me wrong I didn't eat things like fruit loops, in which sugar is the first ingredient, but I did eat cheerios, which it is one of the last.  I didn't cut out salad dressings, which I know have sugar, but I did make sure I ate the fat free kind. But I skipped soda, ice cream, yummy cereals, buttered toast, chocolate milk, marshmallows, chocolate chips, white rice, french fries, hamburger buns, bacon, even diet soda, saltine crackers, yep even saltines, they were what I craved most, because they are perfect snacks for the babies, and I was around them all the time, smelling their delightful aroma, ummm......saltines, even the thought of them now is making my mouth water.  How sad is that? 

Well I lasted almost 9 days.  It was a long nine days, I was consistently thinking about what I couldn't have and how much I wanted it, and how hard it was to go without it.  It was putting me on the edge all day long, and with two little boys, a teenager and two dogs, with a ummm, sometimes highly wound up husband, it was just too much to take.  Tonight my husband said he couldn't take it any longer that I was just too crabby to be around, and maybe I was.  I thought I was holding it in pretty well, but I guess not.  I guess I was a great big stress monster.  I didn't feel better, I ddin't feel more centered, or grounded, or enlightened, what ever your word is for feeling more together, I felt as if I was on the end of a long rope playing tug of war all day long.  I was also drinking less water, I couldn't stand the thought of drinking, why I am not sure, maybe because I didnt' want to be in the kitchen, or maybe that was my screw you, I can't eat yummy crap, I sure the heck ain't gonna drink water. But I did eat a lot more fruits and veggies, I even had whole wheat pasta for the first time, and I have to say there isn't a reason why I wouldn't use it all the time now. I can't really taste the difference, but to be fair, the two times I used it, it was in soup, so maybe a plate of spaghetti would be different.

So after my husband told me I was being a complete beast since last Wednesday, and I figured that was too long ago to be PMS, it must be the constant fight.  So I said screw it and I finished off the last of the peppermint ice cream. (Besides we are having the freezer checked out tomorrow, so it will be one less thing to worry about having to melt while the guy is here.) I have to say it was really, really yummy, and not just because it was ice cream, but because all of the sudden I felt lighter, and less weighted down.  It was nice to have all of that stress go away.  So it makes me wonder, what is worse the added stress on your body for all that time, or eating the bad stuff anyway?  I know I didn't have the will power to skip all of that, a really smart friend of mine told me each person only has so much will power, and if you stretch yourself too much you will just crack.  After I eat the ice cream, I can say I stopped thinking about food, it was nice, not to have that voice in the back of my head, chanting, "marshmallows, marshmallows, you know you want them, come on just one."  The yummy food voices have gone away.  So nice.  Plus I am really thirsty now. Go figure.

I knew deep down I was struggling, I had a nice break today from the house with out the children, and that usually picks me right up, but not today, I still wanted to run away, I didn't want to come home, screw the kids, the dogs, the husband, I wanted to be a free woman.  But the minute I said ok, I will stop and go back to normal, I was happy to be home, with my rugrats, my cold nose dogs, and my cranky husband.  I also know I will be able to sleep much better tonight. 

So my advice to you, don't take on more than your will power can handle, build up to the big challenges, before taking on doing anything crazy, like going without saltines.