So I wish I was more fearless on here and just let it all hang out. That I was able to regale you with tales about my smartalec kids, and my typical hubs. But I find myself unable to just let it all fly. I am still holding back. I haven't quite found my niche, all though I have been doing this for a while. For a minute or two I thought about starting another blog dedicated to meatloaf, the food, not the singer. Making a new one every week. But that would take a lot of ambition and I just don't have that much to spare. So I guess it is just me whining, with occasional rounds of funniness tossed in. It could be worse, I could be a massive sad sack, or a flaming whore. But would a flaming whore really be worse? Might be a lot more interesting with a lot more F bombs being dropped, and lots of advice on how to clear up all sorts of burning and itching.
Really if I am being honest with myself I would be swearing a whole hell of a lot more on here. What stops me from swearing all the time? Who the Hell knows, damn it. Is that two words damn it, or just one damnit?
I am a bit tired and I am sure I am not making much sense right now, but like I said a few days back screw it. Really. Screw it, it being a big dirty sock.
I am feeling better, less tired. My hubs got really upset today and tried to get me fired up and all mad and angry, but I resisted, not sure he liked it, but hey this is the new me. He asked why I was being a zen master instead of getting all mad. "Well I am learning that anger doesn't do any good". But he reminded me that last week I was upset and mad at all sorts of things. That was true. And I hate to admit it, but it was due to PMS.
I really get cranky and out of control then. I eat way too much, don't scream enough and just walk around in a dark funk, just waiting for the right person to say the wrong thing at the right time, so I could get away with the perfect crime. But soon the light starts to shine a few days after I stop leaking, the gray clouds part and it is almost like the heavens open. I am not starving all the time, I stop getting that facial tic every time Dora comes on and everything is back to normal, my normal, but normal none the less. He mentioned later that he realized that is probably why I was such a meany last week, but was afraid to say anything about it.
He never wants to say anything about me being a bitch while I am PMSing. I don't blame him, if he said anything during Aunt Flo's visit I might just lose it on him and get all stabby on him. 87 stab wounds kind of stabby. But all I would need is one menstruating lady on that jury and I would be a free woman.
Well anyway, it is late, I am up with one of the little boys, one who just seems to think that bed time is a suggestion not a hard and fast rule, and boy is he right about that one. (You can't stress about every rule around the place.) So I figured I would get on here and vent a little. Let it fly a little, try to be more of myself. I am sure if you are reading this and don't know me, you may think I am a bit of a angry little nut job. But if you know me, you will know I am writing all of this with a smile on my face, and that I am really a funny little girl who is up for all sorts of legal trouble, that would never hurt a fly. Most of the month anyway.
I just want to end by saying there are monsters out there in the world, and it is really sad knowing they are allowed to have children.
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