On second thought...

I was pretty sure this blog was going to be about my love affair with food, and how I need to Break it off. But instead it will be about my lack of parenting skills.

My two youngest are curently in the kitchen, playing with everything, even the stove, well oven really, the inside of it, yes I know this is bad, yes I know they shouldn't, yes I know, I know, I know. They will trash the kitchen, themselves, and the rest of the house, but right now I don't care. So what if the oven rack is now being played like a musically instrument, and the pot lids are crashing to the floor.

I can say this because while they are in there trashing everything, I am in here, in the living room, away from my children, who are not hitting, not biting, not name calling, not climbing on me. I don't know if you know this or not, but little children have very sharp elbows and knees, and well every bone they have really, it cuts right into you, leaving all sorts of bruises. I am sure I look like a punching bag some days. A dirty smelly punching bag that hasn't taken a shower in days, with turnover crumbs down the front of its over sized men's shirt, bright pink comfy pants. (sexy I know) (did you catch the turnover crumbs, there is part of that love affair with food I mentioned)

Also if I go in there, I will see the mess, and I will then have to punish my children, which means dragging them to time out, and extending the time out for throwing things at the door, and then getting them out of time out, only to have it start all over and having them cast dirty looks my way.

Yes I will get up, yes there will be a mess, yes I will talk to them and try to get them to help me clean it up, but will end up doing it all myself, no fear I am not a complete lackey, I just want a few minutes peace while no one is showing me their mouths full of half chewed pretzels, and some how simultaneously screaming MOM, MOM, MOOOOMMMMM!!

Oh sweet peace, please let this five minutes, turn onto twenty, please, just this once?

BTW, I am not a horrid mom, I took both to the zoo this morning and pushed them up and down all sorts of hills, and lifted them up to see the sleeping leopard, and waited patiently with them, until the polar bear poked out her noise, just so you know.