I was on the phone with my hubs last night, talking about what to do about dinner. He gets home really late, so it isn't very often that I will make dinner with him in mind. Once in awhile, mostly because he won't eat what I make, and if it is something that he wants like tacos, he will want to make them. So when I asked about maybe me making spaghetti last night, he didn't respond the way I would have liked. I told him I had some fresh basil I wanted to use up so I wanted to make dinner. I asked if he wanted just plain meat, or if I could make meatballs. I knew the answer before I asked, I in my mind I was hoping for something different. I guess I wanted a major change in his personality and taste in food and have him say, "meatballs would be awesome." But that didn't happen, he said just plain meat, and it was in a tone like he was tired of all this weirdo cooking I have been doing lately, although it has been making me much more happy lately. So the perk I was getting at the thought of making something new and different went right out the window and I began to simmer. I was getting really hot about it and said screw it. I didn't make dinner for us, I made a salad for me.
I couldn't ever imagine getting married to someone who just doesn't care about food, and I don't mean someone who will eat anything in front of them, that would be nice some days. Instead I have someone who doesn't get any sort of joy from food, or from cooking, or eating. He doesn't like trying new things, and in fact would prefer it if I didn't cook most days, because of the mess.
But that flies in the face of my new cooking plan, my new way of looking at food and eating it. I want to conquer the way food has control of me. I want it to work in my favor. I need quick healthy foods I can reach for, and since I am no longer buying junk food, I need to have leftovers and quick fix snacks at my disposal. I can't go and open a box of crackers or eat a handful of chips. No longer is that sanity saving chocolate sitting in the fridge. So I need creative, fun and different options, food bores me quickly. I can't eat soup everyday, I don't want a sandwich everyday day. I have been lucky enough to be able to eat salads several times a week, but only because I throw so many toppings on it, that it is never the same salad day to day. But for dinner I have been wanting to stretch my imagination.
So here I was asking if I should make spaghetti, something easy and very normal, and that most any cook can turn out easily. But he response burst my bubble. Because I know he would find fault with how I made it. All my effort would be for not. So why should I set myself up for failure? Why waste time making something so simple, to have it be criticized. I am sure you are thinking, well why don't you just tell him how you feel, let him know it hurt your feelings. Well I have, many times, and still nothing has changed, and really it shouldn't. I don't want him to change me, so I can't expect to change him. So until it truly sinks in, and until he changes on his own, I will need to avoid this landmine, I just need to cook for myself and my kids. I need to find joy, even in cooking mundane, boring foods. Because if I want to get past the emotions I have with food I have to do it on all levels, even the lowest level. I need to learn that my self esteem is not tied to food.
Why it is, I have no idea, maybe because we were super poor growing up, maybe it was because I could cook anything growing up and my family was grateful. Maybe it has to do with my relationship with my mom, but that is a whole other can of worms I don't want to open right now. Maybe because I know it is a talent that I have. If that is the case, if it is a true talent I have, I need to foster and help it grow. So that is why I want to take it to another level.
Sorry if you are tired of reading about my hubs, and if I sound down today. In truth I have been down all week, just not in the place to care. I am not sure why, I think everyone has a week like this. Hopefully, I can bounce back by the weekend.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Making Spaetzle, wasn't as fun as saying it.
So for some cray reason I wanted to try to make spaetzle, so after waiting and thinking about it for a few days I went ahead and did it. I used a recipe I found online. I have never eaten it before, and obviously never made it before, so I had no idea what it would taste like, or what it should even look like really.
The recipe called for a ton of nutmeg, and that made me really leery, I grew up in a house that didn't use nutmeg even if we had it. It is a strong taste I am still trying to get used to, in small bits added to things like pan cakes and desserts. So I didn't add the whole 1/4 teaspoon it called for, but the amount I did use was too much. But other than that, I don't think I would have changed anything about the recipe itself.
Making it was an experience, I have a few tools in the kitchen, but I don't have everything, and there is no way I could justify buying a grater just to do spaetzle. So I used my over sized slotted spoon, but it happened to be the spoon I would have used to get them out of the water. So that was a slow process and caused them to possibly overcook, because they cooked really fast, so fast I wasn't able to rinse the batches off with cold water, so they might have been a touch overdone, but I have no idea if they were.
They had a pretty good texture, not too doughy, they tasted like a mix between pasta and rice. I wanted to keep it pretty plain when I "dressed" them, so I could truly taste them, since it was my first time. But I made a mistake, I added too much thyme. I placed them in a frying pan with butter, added some cream, parmesan cheese, and the thyme, it was too assertive with the nutmeg. I couldn't eat too much of it, but my toddler loved it, he took over eating my plate. Also the frying pan was too small, I couldn't get the spaetzle to brown enough first.
So next time I will be more prepared to cook the spaetzle, and have something better in place to remove it from the water faster, and have a bowl of cold water standing by to cool it off. I am sure that will make it lighter. And lastly, I think I will use just a very very small dash of nutmeg and skip the thyme all together. I think they would be good in a really creamy cheese sauce.
I grew up in a home where we did not eat a lot of pasta, so with anything close to a pasta texture, takes me a bit to get used to it. So a good way to get used to it is covering it with cheese, and maybe bacon, ooohhh bacon.
I am sure that some people would think that cooking something new isn't all that challenging, but it is too me. It opens up a whole new way for making things and adding to my over all knowledge. Cooking involves a lot of science, so it effects more than just my waist line. Cooking also has a lot of social aspects, why certain countries cook with certain food, and what the staples were, and how people survived on what they had. I can't imagine how someone even came up with cooking spaetzle the first time. I am sure it started with a desire to have smaller dumplings, and grew from there, making them smaller and smaller. If I am remembering correctly, Germany didn't eat a lot of potatoes in the middle ages, so I can understand why they have a lot of starchy meal without potatoes in them.
From this first time, I learned that it is a very bland starch that needs a lot of flavor added to them. But they are very delicate and need to be handle with a soft hand. Sorta like me. Hahahahaha.
The recipe called for a ton of nutmeg, and that made me really leery, I grew up in a house that didn't use nutmeg even if we had it. It is a strong taste I am still trying to get used to, in small bits added to things like pan cakes and desserts. So I didn't add the whole 1/4 teaspoon it called for, but the amount I did use was too much. But other than that, I don't think I would have changed anything about the recipe itself.
Making it was an experience, I have a few tools in the kitchen, but I don't have everything, and there is no way I could justify buying a grater just to do spaetzle. So I used my over sized slotted spoon, but it happened to be the spoon I would have used to get them out of the water. So that was a slow process and caused them to possibly overcook, because they cooked really fast, so fast I wasn't able to rinse the batches off with cold water, so they might have been a touch overdone, but I have no idea if they were.
They had a pretty good texture, not too doughy, they tasted like a mix between pasta and rice. I wanted to keep it pretty plain when I "dressed" them, so I could truly taste them, since it was my first time. But I made a mistake, I added too much thyme. I placed them in a frying pan with butter, added some cream, parmesan cheese, and the thyme, it was too assertive with the nutmeg. I couldn't eat too much of it, but my toddler loved it, he took over eating my plate. Also the frying pan was too small, I couldn't get the spaetzle to brown enough first.
So next time I will be more prepared to cook the spaetzle, and have something better in place to remove it from the water faster, and have a bowl of cold water standing by to cool it off. I am sure that will make it lighter. And lastly, I think I will use just a very very small dash of nutmeg and skip the thyme all together. I think they would be good in a really creamy cheese sauce.
I grew up in a home where we did not eat a lot of pasta, so with anything close to a pasta texture, takes me a bit to get used to it. So a good way to get used to it is covering it with cheese, and maybe bacon, ooohhh bacon.
I am sure that some people would think that cooking something new isn't all that challenging, but it is too me. It opens up a whole new way for making things and adding to my over all knowledge. Cooking involves a lot of science, so it effects more than just my waist line. Cooking also has a lot of social aspects, why certain countries cook with certain food, and what the staples were, and how people survived on what they had. I can't imagine how someone even came up with cooking spaetzle the first time. I am sure it started with a desire to have smaller dumplings, and grew from there, making them smaller and smaller. If I am remembering correctly, Germany didn't eat a lot of potatoes in the middle ages, so I can understand why they have a lot of starchy meal without potatoes in them.
From this first time, I learned that it is a very bland starch that needs a lot of flavor added to them. But they are very delicate and need to be handle with a soft hand. Sorta like me. Hahahahaha.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Sunday Dinner
My hubby told me that he really liked the roast I made today. He said it was really good. When I tasted it I had a feeling he would like it, only because I wasn't too crazy about the taste. Isn't that funny? I like my things to be savory, and love to add things that will make pork sweet. My husband prefers things to be seasoned, but not sweet, or sweet and spicy. With him in mind I set about seasoning it and it paid off. Both him and my teenager liked it. So that makes me happy.
It was a picnic pork roast. It was a cut that came with a joint in it, I would say from the hip part of the leg. It was about four lbs, with the fat and skin still on it. I seared it in a very hot cast iron pan. That is currently sitting on the stove waiting to be seasoned again. Anyway, back to the roast.
I seasoned it with salt, pepper and some cumin. I then layered the bottom of the slow cooker with 2 small sliced sweet onions, with four cloves of garlic, a half of bunch of parsley, about a teaspoon of ginger, with a cup of water. I placed the roast on top. In the hot cast iron pan I added worcestershire sauce about 2 TBS, then about 1/2 of cup of low sodium soy sauce and about 1/4 cup of steak sauce to deglaze the pan. I then topped the roast with that and cooked it for about 6 hours on high.
When we got ready to eat, I made sure I put some of it away first. I have learned that if you leave all the meat on the plate, you won't have leftovers, so take them first, call them firstovers and then you will have some for either a sandwich,or fried rice later in the week.
What I didn't like was the roasted garlic taste, for some reason I have never been a fan. I can tolerate it at this point, but if it was just me I would have left out the garlic, or maybe minced it really fine. And I would have added brown sugar. To me that would have been really yummy, and maybe some pineapple juice. But I knew that my husband would love the garlic and the cumin. At least I know what he likes and I can play to that when it is a meal we will both be eating. Most nights of the week it is just me and the boys, so I can make anything really. But I don't always want to go to all the extra work.
Tomorrow, I will need to make more bread. I need to get more loaf pans, so I don't have to make it so often. But I can honestly say that is something I don't fear anymore, making wheat bread. It just took a little more practice and a little help from my mom. Thanks mom!
It was a picnic pork roast. It was a cut that came with a joint in it, I would say from the hip part of the leg. It was about four lbs, with the fat and skin still on it. I seared it in a very hot cast iron pan. That is currently sitting on the stove waiting to be seasoned again. Anyway, back to the roast.
I seasoned it with salt, pepper and some cumin. I then layered the bottom of the slow cooker with 2 small sliced sweet onions, with four cloves of garlic, a half of bunch of parsley, about a teaspoon of ginger, with a cup of water. I placed the roast on top. In the hot cast iron pan I added worcestershire sauce about 2 TBS, then about 1/2 of cup of low sodium soy sauce and about 1/4 cup of steak sauce to deglaze the pan. I then topped the roast with that and cooked it for about 6 hours on high.
When we got ready to eat, I made sure I put some of it away first. I have learned that if you leave all the meat on the plate, you won't have leftovers, so take them first, call them firstovers and then you will have some for either a sandwich,or fried rice later in the week.
What I didn't like was the roasted garlic taste, for some reason I have never been a fan. I can tolerate it at this point, but if it was just me I would have left out the garlic, or maybe minced it really fine. And I would have added brown sugar. To me that would have been really yummy, and maybe some pineapple juice. But I knew that my husband would love the garlic and the cumin. At least I know what he likes and I can play to that when it is a meal we will both be eating. Most nights of the week it is just me and the boys, so I can make anything really. But I don't always want to go to all the extra work.
Tomorrow, I will need to make more bread. I need to get more loaf pans, so I don't have to make it so often. But I can honestly say that is something I don't fear anymore, making wheat bread. It just took a little more practice and a little help from my mom. Thanks mom!
My relationship with food
To be perfectly honest, I do not know what my relationship with food is. I wish I knew. I love it, I get all sorts of pleasure from it, whether it is eating it or making it. I love taking my time to make something, whether it is something I have made a hundred times before, or if it is the first time I have made it, and the only thing that makes it all worth it is if someone enjoys it. Sure I will like it, but I want someone else to truly enjoy it. I want to wow someone, but that does not happen all the often anymore. I live with my husband, a teenager and two small boys, they make it very hard on me, they have a very different relationship with food.
My hubs is super picky when it comes to food, and he always seems to criticize my cooking. He is so picky he doesn't ever let me make the easy things like tacos, or spaghetti, I can't even make the hamburgers. If I do make them because he is busy or will be home super late, he finds a way to remind me that he likes the way he cooks better. He will be eating the food, and yet can't say wow babe thanks, that was good. It is always something like, next time when you make this can you do XY and Z instead??? It isn't as if I add extra stuff, or that I cook with different ingredients than him. I open the same type of sauce and cook the same noodles, but I make them taste different than what he wants. Maybe the meat isn't in small enough chunks, or too big of chunks. Maybe I salted the noodle water and he doesn't. It isn't as if I add mayo to the sauce, or put ice cream in the taco meat. It is always small things, but do they really change the meal, or make it inedible? Not really, but he can't just be happy, he has to make his suggestions or tell me how it wasn't as good as when he makes it.
He doesn't seem to get that this does not help me and that it hurts. I mean it is good enough for you to eat it, why can't he just be grateful?? The worst is when he acts like he enjoyed eating a particular meal, he will even say nice things about it, then the next time I suggest making it, he tells me everything that was wrong with it, or that he didn't like it anyways. So I feel as if he lied to me and that I really can't trust his opinion and what he tells me about food or anything else. I am not even sure he knows that he does it. When I remind him that he seemed to like it, he looks at me like I am crazy and becomes more negative about it. This makes my cooking anything even harder, because I never know what he wants or expects from me. He is also bothered that when I cook I don't use a recipe most of the time, and so things won't taste just the same next time.
My teenager can't be bothered to tell me what he thinks of my food as he eats everything in sight. The most I will ever get from him is either "meh" or it was "good." Not much else. He used to love my cooking, loved tasting things for me, loved giving me input. But know he seems to think I am an idiot that needs all sorts of help, but I can't expect it from him. It is a miracle to get him to help in the kitchen anymore. Even if it is just to get something off the top shelf for me.
My youngest boys aren't ones that can provide input other than "ummm good" from the toddler. The other is still nursing.
I feel empty and alone when it comes to my food quest, that I am here taking this path all on my own. I am also a stay at home mom, with a limited income, so I don't have many pleasures or escapes, so I think I have made cooking one of them. I know grocery shopping has become one. I enjoy finding new products to try in the store and love creating something new. I find cooking a challenge, and can really get a boost of self esteem from it. But just imagine what could happen if someone was to respond in a positive way over something I have made., what that would do for me. I want to explore food, and the way it makes me feels and my emotional response to it. Why do I crave certain things, why I am driven to conquer certain things, like bread. I want to understand why I find passion in cooking and eating.
I wish I didn't feel an emotional connection to food, I wish I could just see it as something that helped me live. But it is so much more. It makes me feel good, it can make me feel guilty, I can have pride in something I make, but also feel completely devastated when something doesn't work, or if someone doesn't like what I make. How do you think it makes me feel when I make a dinner I know on else wants to even try?
I know I am not the only one that feels this way. I know that for many people food is much more than a means to an end. Maybe I need to realize that I am the only one that I can control, and that I will have to find a way to find joy in myself and my food. That I can't rely on others, but that brings me back to feeling all alone.
If you have to rely on yourself for all your happiness and joy, you feel isolated and cut off. Why be married and have a family then? Why be social animals? I don't think it is healthy for humans to be expected to find all their joy from themselves. I think we need that from others also, my problem is that I tie my self esteem to food, whether it is making it or eating it, and I have a family of people who don't give a crap about whether I feel good about my cooking, and my relationship with food good or bad. They don't understand that it seems to make me who I am and what I am about. I mean come on, I didn't get this big without having some sort of relationship with food. I am just trying to turn it around to a healthy one. One that makes me a better person. So in the end I guess I am on my own, and will always will be. And that to me is just sad. Makes me want to go find something good to eat.
My hubs is super picky when it comes to food, and he always seems to criticize my cooking. He is so picky he doesn't ever let me make the easy things like tacos, or spaghetti, I can't even make the hamburgers. If I do make them because he is busy or will be home super late, he finds a way to remind me that he likes the way he cooks better. He will be eating the food, and yet can't say wow babe thanks, that was good. It is always something like, next time when you make this can you do XY and Z instead??? It isn't as if I add extra stuff, or that I cook with different ingredients than him. I open the same type of sauce and cook the same noodles, but I make them taste different than what he wants. Maybe the meat isn't in small enough chunks, or too big of chunks. Maybe I salted the noodle water and he doesn't. It isn't as if I add mayo to the sauce, or put ice cream in the taco meat. It is always small things, but do they really change the meal, or make it inedible? Not really, but he can't just be happy, he has to make his suggestions or tell me how it wasn't as good as when he makes it.
He doesn't seem to get that this does not help me and that it hurts. I mean it is good enough for you to eat it, why can't he just be grateful?? The worst is when he acts like he enjoyed eating a particular meal, he will even say nice things about it, then the next time I suggest making it, he tells me everything that was wrong with it, or that he didn't like it anyways. So I feel as if he lied to me and that I really can't trust his opinion and what he tells me about food or anything else. I am not even sure he knows that he does it. When I remind him that he seemed to like it, he looks at me like I am crazy and becomes more negative about it. This makes my cooking anything even harder, because I never know what he wants or expects from me. He is also bothered that when I cook I don't use a recipe most of the time, and so things won't taste just the same next time.
My teenager can't be bothered to tell me what he thinks of my food as he eats everything in sight. The most I will ever get from him is either "meh" or it was "good." Not much else. He used to love my cooking, loved tasting things for me, loved giving me input. But know he seems to think I am an idiot that needs all sorts of help, but I can't expect it from him. It is a miracle to get him to help in the kitchen anymore. Even if it is just to get something off the top shelf for me.
My youngest boys aren't ones that can provide input other than "ummm good" from the toddler. The other is still nursing.
I feel empty and alone when it comes to my food quest, that I am here taking this path all on my own. I am also a stay at home mom, with a limited income, so I don't have many pleasures or escapes, so I think I have made cooking one of them. I know grocery shopping has become one. I enjoy finding new products to try in the store and love creating something new. I find cooking a challenge, and can really get a boost of self esteem from it. But just imagine what could happen if someone was to respond in a positive way over something I have made., what that would do for me. I want to explore food, and the way it makes me feels and my emotional response to it. Why do I crave certain things, why I am driven to conquer certain things, like bread. I want to understand why I find passion in cooking and eating.
I wish I didn't feel an emotional connection to food, I wish I could just see it as something that helped me live. But it is so much more. It makes me feel good, it can make me feel guilty, I can have pride in something I make, but also feel completely devastated when something doesn't work, or if someone doesn't like what I make. How do you think it makes me feel when I make a dinner I know on else wants to even try?
I know I am not the only one that feels this way. I know that for many people food is much more than a means to an end. Maybe I need to realize that I am the only one that I can control, and that I will have to find a way to find joy in myself and my food. That I can't rely on others, but that brings me back to feeling all alone.
If you have to rely on yourself for all your happiness and joy, you feel isolated and cut off. Why be married and have a family then? Why be social animals? I don't think it is healthy for humans to be expected to find all their joy from themselves. I think we need that from others also, my problem is that I tie my self esteem to food, whether it is making it or eating it, and I have a family of people who don't give a crap about whether I feel good about my cooking, and my relationship with food good or bad. They don't understand that it seems to make me who I am and what I am about. I mean come on, I didn't get this big without having some sort of relationship with food. I am just trying to turn it around to a healthy one. One that makes me a better person. So in the end I guess I am on my own, and will always will be. And that to me is just sad. Makes me want to go find something good to eat.
Friday, July 8, 2011
Comfort food, isn't it great?
So the other day about a week ago, I was having a hard time of it. Just a rough day, I don't remember all of it, but my Great Aunt had passed away, and that was enough to make me want to feel comforted, and as an over weight woman in America I have learned to do that with food. It is a shame that is something we turn to, but I guess you can say it could be something worse. But at the same time, being overweight has killed millions and millions of people, so not much else is worse really. That is one of the reason I started this blog, to get away from turning to food as a crutch, also to track my becoming a better person. A healthier person, both physically and emotionally.
But on this day, I didn't care, I wanted to feel full and warm, and not have a care in the world about it. So I turned to a dish that I love for its creaminess. I saw a version of it made on a cooking show, but I think I have changed it up enough to write it up on here.
1/2 half pound bow tie pasta cooked and drained, in the same pan with the noodles, add frozen peas and carrots about a cup and a half, actually to the water before you start to drain the pasta, so it defrost the veggies. With the pasta and veggies, add 4 TBS of butter, and a half of cube of cream cheese. Leave the burner on med low, to melt the cheese, add diced ham about 3/4 of a cup, and 3/4 cup of sour cream, 3 diced scallions, salt and paper to taste, along with garlic powder about a teaspoon. mix together. Top with parmesan cheese and serve warm.
You could add what ever meat you had leftover, turkey, chicken, pork, what ever you have on hand that is precooked. Also you can change the veggies like maybe mushrooms, maybe add red onions or peppers. If you want a deeper cheese flavor some really good ones would be muenster or havarti, either would be good. Or heck, good old cheese from a jar would work, you know that processed cheese food product you find on the shelf, not in the dairy aisle. If you are the type that needs a bit of a crunch, you can always top with chow mien noodles, or crushed croutons. What is good about comfort food is that you can make it completely your own. Think about it, what comfort food doesn't taste better with either more cheese, or topped with bacon, or drizzled with chocolate?
My sons sometimes like this, depending on their mood that day. But I can say for a while it helped my mood, made me feel safe. But I did make sure I got on the treadmill the next day. And to be honest, that worked so much better, because it didn't come with a side of guilt, like too much comfort food can.
But on this day, I didn't care, I wanted to feel full and warm, and not have a care in the world about it. So I turned to a dish that I love for its creaminess. I saw a version of it made on a cooking show, but I think I have changed it up enough to write it up on here.
1/2 half pound bow tie pasta cooked and drained, in the same pan with the noodles, add frozen peas and carrots about a cup and a half, actually to the water before you start to drain the pasta, so it defrost the veggies. With the pasta and veggies, add 4 TBS of butter, and a half of cube of cream cheese. Leave the burner on med low, to melt the cheese, add diced ham about 3/4 of a cup, and 3/4 cup of sour cream, 3 diced scallions, salt and paper to taste, along with garlic powder about a teaspoon. mix together. Top with parmesan cheese and serve warm.
You could add what ever meat you had leftover, turkey, chicken, pork, what ever you have on hand that is precooked. Also you can change the veggies like maybe mushrooms, maybe add red onions or peppers. If you want a deeper cheese flavor some really good ones would be muenster or havarti, either would be good. Or heck, good old cheese from a jar would work, you know that processed cheese food product you find on the shelf, not in the dairy aisle. If you are the type that needs a bit of a crunch, you can always top with chow mien noodles, or crushed croutons. What is good about comfort food is that you can make it completely your own. Think about it, what comfort food doesn't taste better with either more cheese, or topped with bacon, or drizzled with chocolate?
Flan, yeah I said Flan.
After wanting to make spaetzle all week, for some crazy reason I took a left turn and decided to make flan. I had company coming over for dinner and thought, hey why not give it a try. So I did. It was my first time ever. I have made a baked custard before but it isn't quite the same thing. I have had flan before and sometimes it is awesome, other times it is really, really bad. Like super gross bad.
I think the hardest part was getting the sugar cooked just right, you don't realize just how much that flavors the flan until you mess it up. I was so worried about shaking the sugar that I forgot the part about turning the burner down. Now it wasn't burnt, but it was close to it, and left a bitter taste on the flan. It got really dark also. I knew as soon as I poured the caramel on the dish that it cooked to high, because it got hard right away. It shouldn't have, it also cracked as soon as I poured the cold egg mixture on it. Another bad sign, I should have went with my gut and re did the sugar, next time I will know.
I was also worried about mixing the eggs too much because the recipe warned about leaving too much foam, how it would effect the texture, so instead I ended up with patches of egg whites that weren't mixed in enough and got really hard. So it was a bit weird in spots.
Also, it was too thin, if I am going to use the same pan I need to make a larger patch.
I added blueberries also, I thought they were a nice touch. I don't think they effected anything other than the color.
I enjoyed making this, I have always been scared to mess with melting sugar, but it was really easy. I won't be scared next time, and should be able to pull it off better. I need to think of other things I can use this sugar technique on, like maybe on the bottom of cinnamon rolls, or pineapple upside down cake. It would help make the cake more moist and yummy. Oh man, it is making me drool just thinking about it. Yummy, yummy caramel goodness.
So how did my flan turn out over all? I would say it was a 4, maybe a 5. It wasn't super gross, just needed to be tweaked a bit. Maybe in a few weeks I can make another one, when my teenager is around and he can honestly critique me, and eat all the left overs. And yes this time I have photos, enjoy!
As you can see the top one is after it was turned over, the bottom is the top side, which I think looks prettier.
I am not sure why I wanted to make this, I was first introduced to flan years ago when I was just a teenager, and they had made the instant kind, out of a box. I have had it since in restaurants, and surprisingly the box was one of the best. I think I thought it was a super hard thing to make, but in the end it really wasn't. If you have any sort of egg making skills, you should be able to make this. Just beware of the temperature of the sugar while you are melting it, and however the sugar ends up tasting, that is mostly how your flan with taste, so if you burn it, you are screwed. Also, beat your eggs really really well, you need to break up those proteins, so you have a creamier texture, if it gets foamy, just scrap off the foam, or let it settle for a bit. I have to say I think a little foam would be better than weird hard chunks of egg whites floating in it.
I have to say though, that I was a chicken and that I didn't end up serving it too my company, just too soon, instead they got breakfast for dinner. I served pan cakes with sugar and lemon, like they do in England, and she loved them.
I think the hardest part was getting the sugar cooked just right, you don't realize just how much that flavors the flan until you mess it up. I was so worried about shaking the sugar that I forgot the part about turning the burner down. Now it wasn't burnt, but it was close to it, and left a bitter taste on the flan. It got really dark also. I knew as soon as I poured the caramel on the dish that it cooked to high, because it got hard right away. It shouldn't have, it also cracked as soon as I poured the cold egg mixture on it. Another bad sign, I should have went with my gut and re did the sugar, next time I will know.
I was also worried about mixing the eggs too much because the recipe warned about leaving too much foam, how it would effect the texture, so instead I ended up with patches of egg whites that weren't mixed in enough and got really hard. So it was a bit weird in spots.
Also, it was too thin, if I am going to use the same pan I need to make a larger patch.
I added blueberries also, I thought they were a nice touch. I don't think they effected anything other than the color.
I enjoyed making this, I have always been scared to mess with melting sugar, but it was really easy. I won't be scared next time, and should be able to pull it off better. I need to think of other things I can use this sugar technique on, like maybe on the bottom of cinnamon rolls, or pineapple upside down cake. It would help make the cake more moist and yummy. Oh man, it is making me drool just thinking about it. Yummy, yummy caramel goodness.
As you can see the top one is after it was turned over, the bottom is the top side, which I think looks prettier.
I am not sure why I wanted to make this, I was first introduced to flan years ago when I was just a teenager, and they had made the instant kind, out of a box. I have had it since in restaurants, and surprisingly the box was one of the best. I think I thought it was a super hard thing to make, but in the end it really wasn't. If you have any sort of egg making skills, you should be able to make this. Just beware of the temperature of the sugar while you are melting it, and however the sugar ends up tasting, that is mostly how your flan with taste, so if you burn it, you are screwed. Also, beat your eggs really really well, you need to break up those proteins, so you have a creamier texture, if it gets foamy, just scrap off the foam, or let it settle for a bit. I have to say I think a little foam would be better than weird hard chunks of egg whites floating in it.
I have to say though, that I was a chicken and that I didn't end up serving it too my company, just too soon, instead they got breakfast for dinner. I served pan cakes with sugar and lemon, like they do in England, and she loved them.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Again, more crying.
So I have made bread again and finally it is soft, I think it is all in the baking time, you really can't go by the recipe time, if I did it might have been burned.
I was also able to make pad thai again, this time without any meat, but with bean sprouts, it defiantly needs the bean sprouts.
It was nice making those again, I got help with the pad thai a second time around from my teenage son. Something he rarely does any more.
Right now I am suffering small heart breaks, I am trying to get both the little boys to nap, neither have slept today, so I know they both need it. But they are now currently trying to out scream each other. My youngest can get to sleep on his own at night, but during the day it is impossible to get him to sleep. He doesn't cry back to sleep at night, just slowly talks himself to sleep. But during the day, that is impossible to get. He just cries and cries. What am I doing wrong?
It is hard to have a heavy heart some days. Nothing extra ordinary has happened this week, nothing awful, or horrible, or even stressful, but I am feeling a bit down and blue. I am sure it is related to my tubal ligation, which by the way sucks. Why can't we get more info when it comes to procedures done on women? Why do I have to find out after it is over and done with, rather than before. I know this isn't in my head. I know I am not crazy. We are going to wait until I am done nursing to figure out what is due to the nursing and what isn't, than we are going to look into getting it reversed, all because neither of us wanted these side effects.
They are crying so much I won't be surprised if someone calls to report me to someone, but what else do you do when your baby won't go to sleep?
I was also able to make pad thai again, this time without any meat, but with bean sprouts, it defiantly needs the bean sprouts.
It was nice making those again, I got help with the pad thai a second time around from my teenage son. Something he rarely does any more.
Right now I am suffering small heart breaks, I am trying to get both the little boys to nap, neither have slept today, so I know they both need it. But they are now currently trying to out scream each other. My youngest can get to sleep on his own at night, but during the day it is impossible to get him to sleep. He doesn't cry back to sleep at night, just slowly talks himself to sleep. But during the day, that is impossible to get. He just cries and cries. What am I doing wrong?
It is hard to have a heavy heart some days. Nothing extra ordinary has happened this week, nothing awful, or horrible, or even stressful, but I am feeling a bit down and blue. I am sure it is related to my tubal ligation, which by the way sucks. Why can't we get more info when it comes to procedures done on women? Why do I have to find out after it is over and done with, rather than before. I know this isn't in my head. I know I am not crazy. We are going to wait until I am done nursing to figure out what is due to the nursing and what isn't, than we are going to look into getting it reversed, all because neither of us wanted these side effects.
They are crying so much I won't be surprised if someone calls to report me to someone, but what else do you do when your baby won't go to sleep?
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