Yeah, Yeah, yeah....

So I am sure you have heard this rant from me before, but here it is again, because well the weight is here again, add to the fact that I turn 40 next month, that hit me like a ton of bricks yesterday, and I realized I don't want to weigh this when I turn 40, so here I go again, but this time it is 47 days to 40 count down, I really want to drop at least 10lbs between now and my birthday. So please pray for me, I am going to need it.

I am going cold turkey, off everything yummy, and on to everything lean and green.

I am getting stressed out, so I better stop thinking about it, and writing about it, I hope I can keep up with blogging about it, we shall see.

Just a thought I had running around in my head last night.

Ok, so I am LDS, yep a Mormon, and while I use this post to talk about my life struggles, I don't really preach from here, but I felt fake by not expressing my views on whether our church treats women the same, it isn't really about the Priesthood, I don't think, I think that is picked because it is clearly one difference between men and women in our church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I think this is about feeling less than, not as good as, and I don't feel that way as I head to church on Sundays.

***please note what I am writing is my own personal beliefs, and feelings, I do not claim to be an expert nor a spokesperson in anyway for the church, but just for me and my testimony.***

Sure don't get me wrong, sometimes I felt like we focus more on the Priesthood and the rights and privileges that come with it, but that is because I was looking for that, when another sister in my ward pointed out my flaws on this point, and I realized that maybe my family life was one of the causes for my oversight, I grew up with six brothers and no sisters, I often heard, "This is for the boys..I want my boys to..girls can't come with", you get the point I am sure. If you look for the negative, or for only what you want to see, you will find it, but it doesn't mean the opposite isn't there to be found as well. And just because I felt like there was more time spent on it, never did it mean I have wanted or longed to have the Priesthood, or that I resented it. I realize that the Priesthood is a calling and blessing that needs to be honored, and respected, because it blesses everyone within its reach, male or female.  But so is Womanhood, it is a calling and blessing that needs to be honored and respected, because it too blesses everyone within its reach, male or female.

But even if I feel like we focus on the Priesthood a bit more than Relief Society (a large women's organization in our church, we have our own female leaders, and our own meetings and classes) this does not mean I feel like women are second class citizens, because we aren't, if anything we are greater than, we are held is greater regard, we are built up and protected. The church leaders through out time have called for the men to respect and cherish the women in their lives, that women are the greatest gift the lord has given them.

Of my six brothers, four are very active in the church and hold the priesthood, as my father did and both my grandfathers and many uncles, cousins and friends, as does my husband and my many brother in laws, I have benefited from having the priesthood in my life, without being ordained. This is not to say my two other brothers are less than for not holding the priesthood, they are both righteous men, who love their families and who's blessing help their families as well. It isn't because they are men, or because they are or aren't priesthood holders, it is because of their faith and the faith of those around them.

Really when it comes right down to it, the blessings that come from the Priesthood are received because of a persons own faith, not the men exercising their Priesthood callings, but the individual on the receiving end, whether it is blessing, the sacrament, or Temple ordinances. I am entitled to all the same benefits and privileges of the righteous priesthood holder because of my faith, not my sex. The priesthood isn't given out to men, just because they are a man, they have to be found worthy to be a priesthood holder.

I love being a woman in my church, I love the Young Woman's program and the Relief Society, I love having the bond with the women in my ward, I would miss this if we were all given the priesthood, we would no longer have our own meeting and classes, we would be with the men for everything, we would be one of the rank and file, that to me is sad, that I wouldn't be seen for the woman I am, but just another ordained Priesthood holder.

Or maybe that isn't what some see as our future, maybe they just feel that some woman should receive the Priesthood, special ones, that are truly worthy and regarded in high esteem by the Lord. I don't know how making us all the same makes us equal, well maybe it would, but we wouldn't be special, neither would the men, and again that makes me sad, to be made the same as man, which isn't the way we were designed. Why not embrace your differences, while honoring the Lord and his plan for us?

One last note, one thing I think some miss in the church is that for a man to enter the Temple they must be a worthy Priesthood holder, but as women, we just need to be worthy, we are in the lords eyes (I feel) closer to the Lord than man, just in our nature, and with this, we are enough, just who we were, we do not need to be ordained to enter the Temple, this is an extra step men have to achieve to enter. And as all members know, the Temple is the Lords House and we are all entitled to the blessings found there, and viewed as we are, and will be, based on our faith and obedience, not our positions in the church or our sex. 

I love the women in my ward, and my family and my friends, whether they are in the church or not, and I love that we are special and unique in the eyes of the Lord, Priesthood or not, because it is our own faith that matters, regardless of who we are and where we are in life.

I am sure this might be seen as ramblings by a brainwashed sheep, who doesn't see just how the Man is keeping her down, but trust me, I know how the lord feels about me, and that is the only Man, that ultimately matters.

Sewing Room.

I can't wait to get my sewing room done, I have done a bunch of crafty things, I did some cool painting, I even drywalled. All that is left is the trim, and who knows when I will be able to get to that.

I am happy with my results, I can't wait to get to all sorted out and pretty.

dum..dum..de dumm dumm.....

yeah I guess that is all I got.

Well isn't that just dandy.

I have to say that I am very sad, very, very sad and empty.

I have been working very hard on creating a sewing room downstairs, from a room that was very raw, no dry wall, no floor, no insulation, just one wall, some shelves, and peg board.

So I added stick on vinyl tiles, added insulation, drywall and paint. I even took down the shelves to paint under the stairs.

I am very excited about this for many reasons, whoohoo my own sewing room, whoohoo, more room in the basement, whoohoo, get to practice my design skills.

But I am sad because my husband does not share my enthusiasm for this, he is bugged, put out, annoyed, aggravated.  He doesn't compliment me, just gets bugged about all of it.

Just wish I he could complement me, see the value I am adding to the house. I am not asking for unbridled excitement, just not the silent treatment. 

I am also doing this on the cheap, hand me down tiles, left over primer, second hand accessories.  I haven't spent two hundred bucks even.

I would hope more space and order would be worth that little.

I am sure he has his side, the money spent with out being discussed, the messier house, less time with your wife, I am sure there is more, I get it, but how much does support cost?

Todays fat burning tip.

We have a small house, compared to today's standards, but it isn't tiny, and in this house we have a downstairs family room. Also our house isn't insulated, in anyway really, so you can hear everything everywhere, so if the boys want to go downstairs and watch tv it isn't a bad thing. I can hear them, I can feel them jumping and bumping around the room. Also there is a kiddy gate to sorta keep them corralled. Unless they use a ottoman and a cooler to jump it, well slowly hurdle it.

It is also a very ummm, well,  umm,  it is furnished in a college frat boy sorta way. Two beds, one chair, two tv's, and a treadmill, with a built in bookshelf, actually the wall was bumped out for a three foot section to be made into a bookshelf. I hate it, but hey what can you do, when you have to spend money taking care of all sorts of other issues with your house first, like oh the sewer and roof.

One thing about the boys being downstairs is that I get kid free tv time, which is rare around here, I also get kid free climbing on mom time, well no one is climbing on me when they are down there, so it is just no climbing time I guess, not just kid free climbing time, just to clarify. But I also don't hear any whining and endless request for stuff to eat, and no toy tug of wars.

There is how ever one side effect, the extra workout, because I do find myself running up and down the stairs over and over, to take care of them, and the laundry, and anything else I might need from down there, it is making me sweat, so much so I might forgo the trip to the gym.

So there you go parents, my tip for the day, move the kiddos to another floor and let the fat just melt away. Unless you are a horrid parent and don't check on the kids, or do laundry, then this won't work for you, sorry.

lost slipper....

I am running around with one slipper on, I feel like a peg leg pirate doing the walk of shame. 

Yep that's all I got today.

On second thought...

I was pretty sure this blog was going to be about my love affair with food, and how I need to Break it off. But instead it will be about my lack of parenting skills.

My two youngest are curently in the kitchen, playing with everything, even the stove, well oven really, the inside of it, yes I know this is bad, yes I know they shouldn't, yes I know, I know, I know. They will trash the kitchen, themselves, and the rest of the house, but right now I don't care. So what if the oven rack is now being played like a musically instrument, and the pot lids are crashing to the floor.

I can say this because while they are in there trashing everything, I am in here, in the living room, away from my children, who are not hitting, not biting, not name calling, not climbing on me. I don't know if you know this or not, but little children have very sharp elbows and knees, and well every bone they have really, it cuts right into you, leaving all sorts of bruises. I am sure I look like a punching bag some days. A dirty smelly punching bag that hasn't taken a shower in days, with turnover crumbs down the front of its over sized men's shirt, bright pink comfy pants. (sexy I know) (did you catch the turnover crumbs, there is part of that love affair with food I mentioned)

Also if I go in there, I will see the mess, and I will then have to punish my children, which means dragging them to time out, and extending the time out for throwing things at the door, and then getting them out of time out, only to have it start all over and having them cast dirty looks my way.

Yes I will get up, yes there will be a mess, yes I will talk to them and try to get them to help me clean it up, but will end up doing it all myself, no fear I am not a complete lackey, I just want a few minutes peace while no one is showing me their mouths full of half chewed pretzels, and some how simultaneously screaming MOM, MOM, MOOOOMMMMM!!

Oh sweet peace, please let this five minutes, turn onto twenty, please, just this once?

BTW, I am not a horrid mom, I took both to the zoo this morning and pushed them up and down all sorts of hills, and lifted them up to see the sleeping leopard, and waited patiently with them, until the polar bear poked out her noise, just so you know.