Holiday stress

Being pregnant, I can't seem to get into the holiday spirit.  We still have no tree, haven't bought anything for christmas, and right now I just don't care. It seems so far away, yet I know it is just next week. I guess I am too obsessed with this next baby.  That is just over two months away.  We still have no name, well I have a name, but it isn't accepted by everyone in the house. What's a girl to do?  I know that we won't leave the hospital with out a name, only because we will be too lazy to want to go the courthouse to file the new name. So even if we end up naming him Blank Wall, or Call Button, he will have a name.

I have no idea as to what to get my husband, we are getting one big family gift, so we are spending less on everyone else, he gave me a few ideas, but I know he won't be giving me too much money, so most of his idea's just won't work. Don't ask for a safe that is 200 bucks, if that is all the money you will be giving me for everyone. The math doesn't work, which is funny, because he is the one that is supposed to be good with math.

Two months, the number keeps flashing in my mind, two months and we will have another little guy around the house. Two months and I won't be preggers anymore. Just so weird.

Should I say, yahoo, I am just so excited, but in truth I am overwhelmed, it is so much to think about.

On a side note, I keep thinking about a old friend, someone I haven't seen or talked to in over a year, why is it bugging me that she is on the fringes of my life. She didn't make an effort to keep up the friendship, nor did I.  I am not at a loss without her, in fact, I am sort of better off without her, because of her children really, and how she would use and abuse me. I am glad to be rid of her, but at the same time, why I am being held hostage by thoughts of her. Why am I thinking about her well being. It isn't a feeling of missing her friendship, it is different than that. I can't explain it.  Is this remorse? is this guilt, is this shame, mourning, a sense of loss?  I don't know, but I have had dreams about her, and I keep seeing stuff about her on facebook.  It is just weird.  Why am I even talking about it on here?  What am I trying to figure this out?  To what end?   I guess I will have to wait it out and see, see if something happens or changes. Who knows. All too weird.