Company over

So I was looking forward to my brother and sister in law coming over. I spent hours cleaning and stressing about what to make for dinner, what snacks to have on hand, getting the shopping done, making the bed, having everything just right. They came and spent the night, and we had a really great time.  But I realized just how quickly I fall back on my bad habits when it comes to food.

Trying to be the perfect hostess, I made a point of buying food I hadn't in about a month. I didn't think it would be such a big deal, but it turns out it was. I got Doritos, which I love and ended up eating most of the bag. I couldn't stop thinking about them, as along as they were in the house. I wanted to eat them non stop. I also got the ingredients to make Muddy buddy's, on the back of the Chex box was a recipe for lemon buddys, and I am a total sucker for lemon anything, so I got what I needed to make those also. Well guess who ended up snack non stop for two days??  Me, and it sucked, my body felt different, I was more sluggish, feeling all bloated and all I could think about was food. I hadn't realized how much food had become a drug to me. After four weeks I was doing so much better, craving sweets less, eating healthier things, and eating way less throughout the day.

But after this weekend I am totally back to where I was before. I can't stop thinking about food again. I keep going to the kitchen looking for something to eat. I want something salty and crunchy, something sweet and yummy.  So it again feels like I am going cold turkey. Speaking of which, wish I had some cold turkey, to make a nice big salad, but I wasted my food budget getting crap for the weekend. I have learned my lesson, I don't care who is coming over, next time I am sticking to my guns. If it isn't something I would normally buy, I am not going to bring it into my home. I know my limits, I know what I can handle, and Doritos is not it. I just hope I am able to get back to where I was before friday night and soon. I can't keep looking for something we don't have, I can't be held hostage by food any longer.