Husband experiment, part three.

So my husband has read my blog, everyone of them, he says that he feels bad about my life, that I am struggling. He is right, I am but I also realize I don't always think to blog when things are going good. He also said that I make he sound like a jerk. Which he isn't really, we just have very different ways of looking at things. We are very much alike, yet we can be completely different as well. Sometimes those things work together and make us better, sometimes they work against each other and bring on the fights.  If only he would realize I am always right, would his life be so much easier. Or if he would stop doing dumb stuff that bugs me, and just do what I tell him to do, everything would be paradise, not really, but it is a nice fantasy isn't it?

But he read the parts about my experiment, so I am glad I didn't completely spell it out for him. He might not have liked my motivation for it. But it seems to have helped.  He seems less stressed and more willing to talk, and the best side of it, is that I don't think I have had to put my self out trying this. It was really a change in how I looked and interacted with him. I was more patience, listened more, and I showed more affection. Like touching his arm, holding his hand, giving longer hugs. I read that men need twice as much touching as woman, to release the same amount of the feel good chemicals the body makes, maybe that is why they see love as more of a physical thing, than us women do.

So I guess the moral is, kiss and love your hubby more, be softer and more gentle, why treat your children with a soft touch, if you don't so the same thing with your husband. It isn't giving in to him, or bowing down to him, it is just a softer approach. It is how a mans brains seem to work. I have 6 brothers and it took me this long to realize that most men, respond so much better to a tender heart, than a cold one. Some one who builds them up, and makes them feel wanted and needed. 

We woman tend to go after men like our fathers, so it makes sense men would want something that was a model of a mother, maybe not theirs per-say, but someone who loves them, cuddles them, and thinks they are the best thing going. But if this isn't something you feel you can do, then pass on it. It isn't babying them, or letting them run over you, it is just a hug, or a touch, or a wow, what a great job. How hard is that?  It worked for us, and is really simple and easy to do anyway, when you get right down to it, it is just showing your husband that you love him in a different way than you might have thought he needed.