Why am I awake?

I can't sleep, I haven't been able to get to sleep for sometime, and for several days now.  I also have had other things change with my body as well.  I asked my Dr if there was a certain hormone that controlled eating and being horny, and he said not a specific one. Well, I said I guess we need to have more research into women's health. He didn't seem to like that response, but I don't give a flying freak. Dr's don't seem to know a thing about women's bodies and they don't seem to want to know either.  But I can tell you they would know just how to fix my sex drive if I was a man. 

I am trying to decide if I want to be more open in my blog, share who I am, and who my family is, and to share what I have posted. I have one person who has followed it here for a while and she seems to think the only person who could be offended is my husband.  I can see that. I am this snarky about him in real life, so if you spent five minutes with us you would know he can drive me bug nuts, and I can make him bat poop crazy.  So that shouldn't surprise anyone. But I just don't know if I am that ready to be that open to those who know me. But mostly I am worried I will bore them to death. Maybe I could sell kits that would make their passing easier after following me. 

Also I have read some of my old ones, and they are full of mistakes. It is so easy to miss them when you first publish your post and so easy to spot them when you go back to read them. But I am sure the world already knows I am a lazy, illiterate, depressing avoid-er.  So why should I keep avoiding it?  Maybe I don't want to announce my blog, and have it be ignored. It is easy to not care if you are liked when you don't invite people to your party, a lot harder when you do invite them, and they won't come. 

So why am I even writing about whether I am going to open up about my blog?  Because that is what my blog is about, growing and becoming a better person. If I can't open up to others, and accept the outcome, how can I grow? 

And now, because as you know I can't sleep, and I am extra randy lately, I am going to go wake my hubby up,  or maybe a safer solution would be digging into some ice cream. Yeah, just what a insulin resistant, high cholesterol middle age woman on the path to heart disease needs to do, go eat ice cream at midnight.  I gotta get my ass to bed, even if it is just to toss and turn. Because the baby is going to wake up any minute now and will want to breastfeed.