A perfectly clean house, all the time.

So I hit on this thought late last night, so shoot me if it goes to straight? Is that the right line?  Maybe my hubby knows. Anyway, I was thinking of a way to always have a perfectly clean house. We had a party a few weeks back and have wanted to try to keep the house just was clean as it was, for the most part we are doing better, but it hasn't stayed as clean, it might be impossible, that is until I figured out how to keep it clean. Here are my steps to a clean house.

1. First you have to clean it, clean it like you have never cleaned before, under the couches, dust the moldings, clean out the dryer lint, windex the peep holes in your doors, everything.  Sure it will take time, it is hard work cleaning everything, but follow my list and it will be the last time you have to clean your house like this ever again, trust me. ; )

2. Never cook again, yep, not only do you get a clean house, but you also get out of kitchen duty. Sure you need things to eat, just load up on fresh fruit and veggies you can eat raw. And, I will be generous here, get cold cereal, ones you can eat right out of the box. If you must have more than that, stock up on paper goods. Ones super cheap, cause you are just gonna toss those babies. Buy only foods you can eat with your hands. Crackers, carrot sticks, pop cycles, I think you get the point.  You put a lot of time and effort into cleaning that kitchen, why ruin it by making tuna casserole? No one ever died from eating snacks, want something hot, eat out.  Nope no take out, that will create more of mess than you want at this point. Save yourself trouble while you move your stove out to clean under it, just unplug that baby, so you won't be tempted to whip up some funeral potatoes.

3. This step will be the hardest, wear the same clothes everyday. Come on, you can do this one, think of all the time and energy you will save on doing laundry. No clothes to fold, no socks to sort, no pants to iron. Just pick out your most versatile outfit and stick to it. Wear it, until it falls off of you, then you can pick the next outfit you want to wear to death. This is how they saved lots of time in the olden days, they had just a few outfits to wear, you didn't see them hoarding up on fabric softener did you?  Nope, just one change of clothes will be just fine. Beside it will help you figure out just who your true friends are. You don't need some wanna be fashion police on you all day do you? No way, you want someone who wants you around for you, not because your clothes are clean and fresh smelling.

4. This step maybe easier for some of you than others. Stop taking showers or bathing the children. Why? That just messes up the bathroom, so go ala french and give up the soap. But I am sure this will be hard for some of you, so you can ween yourselves slowly, and take showers while wearing your clothes, so you get two for one, clean body, clean clothes. But I am warning you, it will cause a lot of water dripping issues, so use this time to mop the floors. As you head outdoors to air dry.

See, doesn't my plan just sound perfect, if you don't eat, no dirty dishes, if you don't change your clothes, no laundry, no showers, no soap buildup. You will also have to toss out any toys your children have, never get the mail, now will you won't be able to have any sort of celebrations or holidays, that just opens up your home for all sorts of clutter. I plan on starting tomorrow, I will let you know how it goes.

P.S. I pulled these images off of google, just for a touch of color. enjoy!