I woke up early this morning in a slow panic. You know where you are kind of hazy, but slowly realize something is amiss. I realized that I hadn't felt the baby move in a long while. So I started thinking all sorts of crazy, sad thoughts. I got up and went to the bathroom to see if that would make a difference, nothing. I started thinking back to the last time I was sure I felt something. Usually about 20 minutes after I eat, he will start to disco, but I didn't remember him doing that last night. I was a bit out of sorts last night, I was mad at everything body and everything, and I really wasn't certain why. I just kept dropping the F bomb, and getting pissy with everyone. I even stormed out of the house after no one wanted to cook dinner. I ended up getting Panda Express, (which has some really tasty honey walnut shrimp, by the way).
I left the house looking like a rag-a-muffin, I was wearing slippers, pants with the elastic shot, that kept slipping down, with a too tight t shirt, that hugged my, somewhat prego-somewhat fat belly, just a tad too much. I also threw on a jacket that my hubs says, "looks like an old bathrobe." My hair was all a mess, tied up in a messy bun. So in other words, I looked like a crazy cat lady, that hadn't showered in weeks, and needed to take her meds. I didn't think I was going to have anyone see me, I used a drive through, but I got a wild hair, and decided to find some shoes for number 2. I figured looking deranged I could try a second hand place and fit right in and to my surprise, or should I say horror, someone from church was there. I played like a ninja and strolled right on by, with one hand holding up my slipping pants. I am pretty sure she didn't see me, or if she did, I looked like such a mess she didn't want to get involved so late at night. No luck on the shoes though, the best pair smelled like smoke, and that is just too much baggage. So I figured where can I go next, where no one is likely to know me, and I probably wouldn't be back to anytime soon?? I ended up going to Sears, a Sears that was in a old beat down, depressing Kmart building. No one ever seems to really shop there, I don't know why it is still opened. But I was right, I fit right in, it was close to closing, and the only other customers were in their actual pajamas's. Sure my get up wasn't much better, and I am sure my bare belly was showing at one point, but at least I knew I wasn't wearing actual bed attire. So I felt like I was more than appropriately dressed for the occasion, even if I had to keep a hold of my pants so they wouldn't fall down. All I can say is, when the heck did little kid shoes get so dang expensive?
Anyway, back to this morning, since I was distracted last night I wasn't certain the last time I felt the baby move. So I ended up wide wake poking and prodding my belly, trying to get a reaction. I was laying really still, and focusing on every movement my body made. And then finally 15 minutes later, I felt a nice strong kick, then another, then another. It feels so good to be kicked from the inside. I just started to glow. It is like when you go to the doctors office and you get to hear the heart beat, I don't think there is a more comforting sound, except maybe hearing your baby sleep, while you stand in the door way checking on them in the middle of the night. Such quiet sounds can bring such inner peace. So I am all calm now, but I still can't sleep. It is pretty late in the morning now, maybe I should just give in and find something productive to do, like fix that elastic in my pants before someone gets more of a show they bargained for.
No comments:
Post a Comment