Feeling lonely

With the weather turning bad,  and my belly getting bigger, I feel less inclined to head outside.  Since I am going no where, I am feeling even more alone.  I was lucky last week my husband was home for three days during the week, which was really nice. But two were busy days, getting ready for thanksgiving company. We had to cook and clean, it was a mess. We didn't get along very well.  We both have different ideas on what to clean.  He wanted the basement cleaned, but that wasn't even on my radar, as far as I was concerned we weren't going to have any reason for anyone to go down into the pit. But he felt like he might have to show it off.  Why?  Who wants to see every nook and cranny of someone elses house, if you aren't buying it, why do you care?

I won out, and we focused on the upstairs.  I ended up cooking everything for dinner, with the only help being that the 1st helped me peel potatoes. Which was nice. I do have to say that hubs did help me clean up and put everything away.  He loved my apple pie, which was nice, he likes so little of what I make.  All he ate for dinner was Mashed potatoes, KFC gravy, and turkey, and one of the rolls I made.  He doesn't like to eat weird things, or funky things.  But I guess that is his choice.  But when you are like me, I find value in myself by, what people think of my cooking, not sure why, I am sure it is something from my past.  But I want everyone to love my food, and enjoy what I make.  But that doesn't happen. I guess it is one more thing to add to my list of things to fix.

Speaking of things to fix, I am getting better, I have been putting my dishes away, and I cleaned out a corner of the bedroom.  Also part of the closet. For me that is huge.  It was messy for years, and I tackled it today.  I just hope my husband likes it, and doesn't get upset that I took time and effort to clean that, and not unload the dishwasher.  I can't do it all. I would love to, but not at this point.  What I did today was probably too much to do.

I am sure I seem like a lazy slob, and I admit that I am, but don't I get some credit because I want to do better and I am taking very small steps to do so.  I mean come on, I had the TV off for hours today. Cut me some slack. I was also able to get some reading time in. Which I don't get enough of. I guess I just want some love and attention, I am trying to reach out. Maybe I need to do more, and whine less.