Rectal Bleeding

I have to say I hate hemorrhoids, they are the worst. If you haven't ever had one, let me describe it to you.  Imagine someone using a rotating blade inside your rectum, nicking it here and there. Then imagine every time you have a bowel movement, it rips the scab right off, and you start bleeding all over. Now there is the inbetween time, when everything is healed, nothing hurts when you poop, then bang out of nowhere they come back, and you get the scabs ripped off again. They suck, the worst part is, they have to be really bad before you can have surgery, so I would hate to see what really bad feels like. I can only imagine the amount of blood you would have to be passing in order for the option of cutting and sewing up your anus sounds better. 

I have dealt with them for some time, after my 1st was born was when they got really bad. REALLY bad, but I think it was more that I didn't have a bowel movement for two weeks after and got really backed up, well it has to come out sometime, and when it did it left its mark. They flare up from time to time, I like to say that my bum is on fire, and those close to me knows what that means. Sure you can apply cream and ointments, but it still takes time.  If you break your leg you get to rest it, you break your jaw they wire it shut, but honey there is nothing they can do with a bleeding bumhole, you still have to poop.

What I want to know is who was the first person who decided that shark oil would help a bum out. Now, don't get me wrong, when your bum is on fire, there isn't much you wouldn't try to put the burning out.  But shark oil?? I guess if you thought about it enough you could see the person coming to the conclusion, well I guess it can't make it worse. But what did they try first, I hope it wasn't chile oil, I am sure it wasn't but, hey people did weird things back then, maybe they tried leaches first, could you imagine?  "Well they suck blood, you're bleeding, wanna try it?"  The thought of them makes my rectum pucker.

I have to say I am quite glad to live in an era that has the bum all figured out, they I can apply the right things and over a few days the pain slips away, I am so glad the cure isn't leaches.  Bring on the shark oil anytime.