Maybe this time...

Well I got all mess cleaned up. I have to say this is a bit weird, writing to no one, yet everyone at the same time.

What I was trying to say before is that I am a work in progress, and I need to find my way.  I have lost faith, desire, and ambition.  I have lost my self confidence, I used to have so much, I was so outgoing, I was nice and friendly and willing.  Now I am a huge crab, and I tend to bite back, when I should just shut up and smile.

I don't know how to shut up and smile anymore.  Is that a bad thing, should more people just throw it all out there, or should we all try to get along?  I set up a facebook account and I have said way too much on there, and wish I hadn't, but other times I wish I had said more.

Like to my idiot cousins, I want to tell them to grow up, do for yourself and quit blaming the world for your life. But they could say that right back to me.  What would happen if I actually told them to grow up, nothing except they would say nasty things back to me, and tomorrow would end up the same. So that is why I started this blog, here I can say what I want, how I want, and maybe that will help me get back to where I want to be.

But maybe I don't want to go back, maybe I want to go forward...