Venting...(warning, graphic poop talk)

So I am bugged by something I saw on my facebook feed, a post that my teenage son commented on. I wish I hadn't seen it, because it leaves me bugged and pissed off, and without a clue on how to handle it. One of his so called friends, suggested they should poop in my son's mouth. It is gross to say the least. But my son is an adult now, which is weird for me to say, and even weirder for me to accept. I have no idea if this other child is an adult or not, because whether he is 18 or not, he is still a immature child.

So how would you handle this? Part of me wants to go find the punk and punch him, but the rational side says that would be way out of line and uncalled for and totally not worth it in the end. Part wants to post a remark, full of snark and embarrassment, but that can lead to more back and forth than I want. Another part says relax momma bear, your son can handle this on his own. In reality, that is what will happen, I may mention it to my son, but I may not. All depends on the moment.

I guess I just need to realize I can't control the world, nor what idiots will say. But I can control how I react to it, that is why I am on my blog venting, because my son won't see it, and no one else he knows will see it, unless he has friends in Ireland or Thailand that I don't know about.

Why does trash like this have to come along and throw a wrench into my day when all I can do about it is wish I hadn't seen it, and pray it is just a really dumb thought by someone that has so much more in life to figure out.

Sorry to bring poop up into your fine day. I hope your day is much more enjoyable.

I am still running, still working out, still trying hard, but I am still not to 217 either, so keep me in your thoughts, maybe a few positive thoughts sent my way will really help. Either that or send some fat erasing fairies my way, that would be awesome. Keep up the hard work.

I really am doing myself in, really.

I have had some really bad events happen in my life recently, which as increased my stress levels, which decreases my will power and invites in all sorts of negative thoughts, "give in", "eat it, you will love feeling stuffed", "no one can do this, give up", "you stink and have bad breath", "even if you lost weight, your hubs won't want you", "make yummy food, full of fat, you will love it", "cheese is your friend". 

No cheese isn't my friend, neither is bacon, nor chocolate. But they aren't the enemy either, what is the enemy is my own brain. My own self is stopping me, you can't move forward in life if you constantly fill your brain with negativity. But how do you stop all that negativity? How do you tell your self to shut the fuck up?

Sorry for the language, it is just where my head is.

I gained way too much weight this last weekend, and I am kicking myself, because these are pounds I have to lose all over again, which sucks, I could be under 200, I bet if I wasn't gaining and losing the same 5 pounds. Which makes me even more upset and stressed, which causes me to reach for the extra slice of pie. "Piiiiiiieeeeee....."

I wish I had a cheerleader, someone who could make me feel worth it. I guess in a way I do, but I don't always rely on them, I am not an overtly religious person, I mean I am, but I don't like preaching it, and showing it off. But maybe I should try to rely on the lord more. And not be ashamed of it. Not hide it. If my talking about my love for the lord turns people off so be it. There is plenty that others do that turn me off, i.e. twerking, not even sure if that is spelled right, but please girls knock that crap off, no one wants to have a butt waving in their face, except creepy gross men, which you really don't want in your life, unless you have daddy issues, and if that is the case, get some help and put the ass down.

I guess I need to knuckle down and start saying I am worth it, whether I believe it or not at this point, because a point will come where I do believe it. If I can believe all the negative things, then surly I can believe the positive as well. Wish me luck, or in other words pray for me, or just go twerk, you messed up little girl.

Up late last night.

I couldn't sleep last night, I thought about blogging something on my phone, but two thumbs go way too slow, for my brain, and my brain late at night isn't all that fast, so that should clue you in to how slow I can text.

I am really struggling with these last five pounds, I get close to 220, then I bounce back up to 222, it really stinks, I can't seem to get past this hump, during my reunion I let it all loose, didn't work out enough and got up to 232, so I guess it is amazing I am back down to 222, but still, if I had stayed good maybe I would be under that. Why is my body and mind doing this to me?

Why am I fighting this so hard, like today is friday, the store where I shop has the best fried fish on fridays, I really shouldn't eat it, but right now my mouth is drooling just thinking about it. I just want to buy a pound and eat it all, with tartar sauce dripping down my chin.

Why do I think like this, why aren't I geared towards hitting my goal, denying myself to reach it? Why am I fighting it, why do I go off the deep end on weekends? Why can't I find the will power to stay healthy. all week long, thursday night rolls around and I am making bread pudding with butter and syrup?

I know I have been like this with other weights in the past, 240 was awful, I mean awful, it was over christmas time, what a mess. So I know I can get past this one as well, I just wish it wasn't such a struggle.

I also went back and read some of my past post, I gotta say, I am pretty funny, I forgot some of what I wrote, but then again it was over two years ago. I think I have come much further, I have gained more insight, and I know I have so much further to go. But at least I going, I am trying to move forward, even if it is only as fast as honey on a cold winter day. It is still something, maybe one of these days my stove will get turned on and my honey will just flow, and run like the dickens.(I did have the word ooze in there, but that sounds pretty gross, not a thought I want before I go shopping, things oozing, good things don't ooze, wounds ooze, poop oozes, not yummy stuff like honey, or whip cream)

So stay with me, all you regulars, from far off places like France and Ireland, Russia and Thailand, unless you just read me to make fun of fat lazy Americans, if that is the case, then screw you buddy, and go watch Jersey Shore and feel superior over those drunks, and leave this stay at home mom alone. Everyone else, enjoy the ride and have a nice day.

Watch out fried fish here I come.

Super yummy dipping sauce!

I whipped up this sauce for lunch today, I wanted something different from ranch or bar b que sauce. It is equal parts nonfat plain Greek yogurt, fat free zesty Italian dressing and about a teaspoon of mustard. 
It was super yummy with panko breaded chicken strips.
I left out sweetern but honey or sugar would be a nice touch.
It would taste fanatic on fish or fries.
If it is too runny for you add more Greek yogurt.

You can also spice it up with pepper flakes, or hot sauce.
Enjoy!

Yeah it been a while, sorry.

My last post I said I would post once I lost those dang 5 pounds, well it still hasn't happened, and I can't avoid it, I got to face the truth head on. So here is a new post, at the same weight, and it is about marriage, enjoy!

One thing I have learned while being married is that while it is about getting to know someone you love, it is also about getting to know yourself, more than you ever thought possible.

Because whether you like it or not, your spouse will pick up on your habits, good and bad ones. And your spouse will have a very canny way of showing you your true self, how much of a slob you are, how well you listen, or what is truly important to you.

So before you get married realize a good strong marriage has to survive two people getting to know themselves and liking who they have become, and still loving each other through it all. I have learned and accepted many things about myself, and I know I have a many more to learn, and so does my spouse.

I just don't think people really appreciate this notion before marriage, nor understand it. And once you begin to realize it, you make a choice to keep at it, and become more self aware, or you throw in the towel and deem it too hard, or not worth while, or you really learn your true nature and your spouses true nature and decide you no longer want to be a couple.

Then you have to learn a whole new lesson about grief and loss.

Just a few thoughts I have had this weekend, thanks for reading.

So close, yet so far.

So I am roughly 5 pounds away from losing a total of 50 pounds, it seems so weird, and sorta unreal. I am not even sure if it is true. Maybe this is all one long dream, but if it was a dream, I wouldn't need to lose weight, (I would hope I would be a hot sexy babe in my dreams).

I am pretty excited, but I also know it is a long ways from my goal, another 50 pounds worth. I know how much work the first 50 was, I can only imagine the next 50 will be even harder. But I really want it, and I know what works. eating next to nothing, and the nothing you do eat is all healthy, I am aiming for less the 1,400 a day, that is a little, and I really should eat a little less than that. I use an app to help me track my calories and it can get pretty sad at times, just how many calories can be in things, even healthy things, like lean protein, or brown rice. And all those healthy fats, sure they are "good" for you, but they are still fats, still loaded with calories, like ground almond butter, I used two table spoons on some celery for a snack today, that was 180 calories right there, (190 if you add the celery). talk about suck a duck.

But at least the scale is moving down, I can wear all sorts of clothes that had been packed away for years and years. I have lots of clothes I need to take in, or pass along. So that is good, I am also in pretty good shape and I am the most flexible I have ever, ever been. That is pretty neat.

One of the other things that amazes me is just how much water I need to drink. Just when you think you have had enough, you need to double what you just drank.

I guess the point here, is that you just need to keep going, keep eating that whole wheat bread, eat that salad and baked chicken, it does a overweight body some good. Maybe if I am lucky, by the next time I post, I will be half way there. Whohoo!!!  We shall see.

I added a pic of my dinner, about 400 calories of fish and veggies that I steamed.  I couldn't finish it all, just means there are left over calories to add a sweet snack at the end of the day.

Kitchen redoes, upcyling, and repurpose....

Here are some of this things I have around my kitchen that others might find handy, So I thought I would post them.

Like the child locks I love to use, are actually elastic hair bands, wrapped around two door knobs. I love this because one, they aren't expensive. Two, they can be used once the locks aren't needed. Third, you don't need an engineering degree to figure out how to open them. Lastly, they can be in colors that blend in, most people don't even notice them right off. So they are a win, win, in my book. 

Hair band for child lock.

As you can see simple hair band, easy on, easy off, if you are strong enough.

I also love to reuse the unexpected, like the dodads, that hold products together at the big box store, you know when you get three things of ketchup all held together. I just hung it over a door knob and it becomes an instant towel holder. I placed

The dodad off of ketchup, to hold towels.

mine right by the sink, in front of the roll of
paper towels. My hubs loves this because I use
less paper towels this way. Also you can color
code them, red for hands, green for dishes, or
fruit, or what ever you may need to dry off. 

I can't tell you how many paper towels I save using these instead.

I used another dodad, from lemon juice,(I am sure they have an official name, but who has time to look that up?) as a child lock on my food cabinet, it is a little tighter, so again, it is brawn that removes it, not brains. I have one that is from chocolate syrup bottles on another set of doors that sit closer together.

Another child lock from the dodad off of lemon juice.

I also found a bunch of pant hangers in my front closet when I cleaned it out, because I saw this awesome idea on Pinterest, I just popped off the clip parts on the ends, and tossed them in a drawer, and any time I need a chip clip, there you go, simple and easy to use, and they stay on super thick rolls of plastic, unlike some clips.

My chip clip, is off a pant hanger.

Added more storage space, from redone tv hutch.

 But one of my favorite redo items has to be my extra storage, I found a old beat up tv hutch at a thrift store and redid it, I painted it green, added bead board and new handles, and it fits right in. I don't think anyone realizes it used to hold a tv. With flat screen tvs all the rage, you can find many like these for super cheap, just think, you can redo one of these for all sorts of storage, like a child's room, or an outdoor patio.

Just get your mind a working, who knows what you might end up with. Like that bread box on the bottom shelf of my hutch, it holds my dogs toys and treats. But you can't tell by looking at it. Also you can't quite tell cause the photo is a bit dark, sorry, but I am stay at home mom, not a paid blogger.

I hope these simple ideas inspire you to look at things differently, and maybe you will find a re-purpose for items you used to toss. You never know what may come in handy.

Sorry I haven't blogged about my life lately, I have been busy sorting my house out, man, I have a lot of junk in a lot of places that makes no sense, but slowly and surely I am getting it all in order. Also my weight loss is going well, slow but well. Sorta happy I am getting more and more lighter. 

Here's a handy tip for you...

Green Shelf Liner, sexy I know.

OK I had a flash of genius a few months back while loading my car for a family outing.I had made some desserts and wanted them to arrive in one piece, so I needed a way to keep them from sliding around in the back of the car, so with a flash, I thought of it, shelf liner. You know that puffy, rubbery stuff, that keeps things from moving around. I knew I had a few small strips, so I grabbed one and Voila...Magic, real magic, that worked.


It didn't take much, and both containers fit perfectly, I tried moving them around by hand and they stayed in place so I was pretty sure it would work for the 40 minute drive, and I was right, they stayed right in place. So I left the piece in my car and have used it since, for glass plates, milk, and eggs, all stayed where I wanted them. I wish I had thought ahead and taken the time to beautify the car and jazz up the photos, but if I did that it would be years before I ended up posting it, instead of months. Give it a try, if they can survive the Hubs driving and mine, it should be good for anyone. You're Welcome.

This is a Pyrex dish, full of brownies

After the drive, didn't budge.

Lunch, water, and portion size.

I made spaghetti last night, with whole grain pasta and added, onions, peppers, celery and carrots. So for lunch I had left overs with a half slice of Toasted Wheat Berry bread. 

I took a pic to show off the serving size, do you know how little we are really supposed to eat, and how fast calories add up? Just a few extra scoops and you are adding 100's of additional calories. Do you know a serving size of cooked pasta is just a 1/2 cup?

My before plate, which is a salad plate.

I am using a salad plate and you can see just a half of piece of toast.  Without measuring I can tell even this is over a serving size, because I tell myself lies that, "it is OK and there are veggies, it is whole wheat, it's extra lean ground beef", but don't fall for it folks. Don't fall into the, "it's OK, because", trap, "it's OK, I worked out, it's OK, I skipped lunch, it's OK, it's low fat"  all traps that lead to extra calories that lead to extra weight.

I also made a point to drink water while eating, that will slow your eating and help you feel fuller so you eat less. And your brain can catch up and realize it has eaten enough.
I need more water, and I also have to say, I am really surprised at how little we should be eating.

I wanted more, but didn't need more.

That truly was the turning point for me, portion size, knowing serving sizes, listening to my body, and accepting hunger. Your body will adjust to smaller portions, just takes time about a week or so.

And I ended up not even eating all my lunch, cause I know what full feels like now. I am comfortable with how much I ate, I am not stuffed, but satisfied.

This is a 1/2 cup of cooked pasta on a dinner plate. One Serving.

Okay after I finished eating I realized I am kinda of a douche, if I tell you watch the serving size and don't show you the actual size, I had more spaghetti, so I got out my handy dandy 1/2 cup measuring cup and a full size dinner plate to show you. I was pretty close with my lunch serving after all. But in the past more than half my full size plate would have been covered with noodles and sauce. So get out those cups, measure your serving spoons, know what a serving is and what it looks like, then you learn how it feels when you eat one. I have one serving spoon I use all the time, I measured it and now when I dish up soup or casserole I know what how much I have taken, a 1/4 cup. Much easier to figure out your true calorie intake. And that really is the bottom line, what and how much you put in your mouth. 

It's been a long time baby...

Yes it has. But I ain't worried it isn't like I have a huge following that is feeling neglected because I am not keeping them updated on my life. So who really notices?

I have actually taken a break because I have been thinking about me just way too much lately, I think about me all the time and I am sick of me. Now don't think I am self centered more than the next person, I am just taking new drugs and I have had to watch and monitor myself for the last few months, to make sure I wasn't experiencing any weird or unwanted side affects, like suicidal thoughts or homicidal ones, or if I am light headed, or dizzy, or extra sleepy, or if my pee has turned funky colors, or if my knees have turned to liquid. So because of that, and my drive to get healthy I am always on my mind and I hate it.

So there was no way I was going to get on here and elucidate on myself as well. That would be too much.

Also I have become bored with reading, I can't read more than a few paragraphs anymore, I guess that is one of the unwanted side affects, oh well, it wasn't like I liked reading, oh wait yes I did, I loved getting lost in a book. So anyway the thought of proof reading anything is out of the question, not that I did much of that anyway.

I just wanted a quick shout out, I am still alive, I am still kicking and I have even lost more weight, I am now a round 230, yippie, so there is hope for me still. Hope all is well with you.

Pms dinner.

I know many of you have been asking what does she eat when she is pmsing?

Well that is a good question.

Tonight it is starch, red potatoes with green beans, and onions with smoked Turkey sausage. I seasoned it with salt and pepper, Worcestershire sauce and dry mustard. I also stirred in some light sour cream.

I wanted creamy, salty, meaty, starchy goodness and I got it. Now if only the babies will eat it.

I know it isn't the healthiest meal, but it could be worse and I am not eating the whole pan. Atleast not tonight. 

Jelly beans are evil.

That's all I got, jelly beans are evil. They should be outlawed.  They may be my down fall.

Well I gave it the ol'lady try.

I did the abs, twice, and I gotta say that while it is a very nice abs work out, it didn't leave me feeling sore or overly worked over. Yeah I sweated a touch, but not as much as I would want from a work out I did twice in one day. I did 50 of each of them, or did them for 5 reps of ten seconds, and I can see how it would create abs, but I think I have them in spades you just can't see them as we speak. Cause they are covered by way too much fluff. So that just goes to prove that you never can tell just what is laying beneath someones tonnage. It also makes me feel good that a abs work out, designed to get your belly into shape wasn't enough to phase me. I should be shouting it from the roof top. But that will come another day.

I did have a work out I do using a little low to the ground table on wheels, and it works me over pretty well, but can get to be pretty loud when others are trying to watch tv or little ones are sleeping, so last night I used towels instead, and I am sure you are shaking your head, let me find a photo so I can use to give you an idea of what I mean. So you can see what I mean, but I was in the living room, not on my dirty gross kitchen floor, picking up salmonella. I did a few different variations of this and I was beat up after I was done, like I wanted to throw up, literally throw up. So this one I am keeping around, it was much harder using the towel and not the rolly board, but if I hadn't done the rolly board a few times before I don't know if I could have done just the towels.

I have yet to do the running one, things have just been crazy this week. I had the power out yesterday and that was hard to adjust to. Today I had  doctors appointment and I got me RX for my depression meds. I guess it wasn't a stretch for the doctor to prescribe them, after I started crying, just at the mention of me having symptoms. I am picking them up later today, so that should be fun, to get started on them, I hope they help.

I was also blown away by the weight at the doctors office, but since it doesn't match my scale, I am holding off rejoicing, cause I want me scale to say that. Isn't it funny how two different scales can be off by 10 lbs? Any way I gotta run and pick up my meds and the teenager from school. Enjoy!

Ok, first round of the challenge.

I did the abdominal one this morning.  And I gotta say little boys climbing all over you does not add to the experience. Nor does it help with your handy print out to remember the moves.

I was able to do 50 of most of them. The plank and the back stretch I did in five sets of ten seconds apiece. Well to my count of ten and when you are in the middle of a plank ten seconds counts pretty dang fast.

I will also say the third on the left down, ummm no could do. I can't bend that way. I tried a few times just to sit up. Then I moved my feet on the couch and did my best.

The very last one where you use a partner, I used the couch. For leverage or not leverage, science isn't my strong suit.

And now that I am sitting and writing this, my stomach is cramping.  Not sure how much was the work out vs. Needing to eat.

So breakfast here I come.  Watch out food pics may follow.

Here are the challanges picked for me.

This is the beginner running challenge, which even though I ran a 5k in November, I will try cause I took so much time off running since then. You do these with a lowest incline level.

This is a copy of the ab challenge it says do morning and night and you will see a difference in a week. We'll see.

 

Food pics.

People complain about others taking pictures of food, and yeah even I don't find it all that exciting, but it seems like I get the most views when I post them. So you will probably see more. Unless it turns you off, then you know to avoid this blog like the plague. 

I wonder why people like food pictures. Is it a glimpse into others life style, is it like porn for dieters? Is it a way to get ideas on what to make. Is it so you can feel smug and superior, "I would never take food pics, she is so lame. My pics of Spanish Angora infinity scarfs are actually a benefit to society from an artistic viewpoint, yogurt bowls help no one."  Well if that is you, get over yourself. Scarfs are never exciting. 

This is my breakfast.  Light raspberry cheesecake yogurt, cottage cheese, and half of a Granny Smith apple chopped up. It isn't half bad and will keep me going. 

On a side note I finally picked up a new scale a digital one, on the cheap from Costco, with some of my fun money, so nice having fun money, thanks babe. So I hope that helps.

Also after a very long talk with my hubs, I agree some meds might help. Knowing I am depressed makes me more depressed.  Too bad I can't go back to bed. And just avoid the whole issue all together. 

From time to time..

Once in a while I will check and see if people are looking at my blog, and once in a while I get a hit. But the best was today, I checked and I had two views of my blog about rectal bleeding from way back and I have to say when I went back to read it, I was quite surprised at how funny it was. I guess I shouldn't be, I am a funny girl, but I just forgot how funny rectal bleeding can be. But this is coming from a girl who uses humor to get over all sorts of things. It is a default setting I have. And being that I am 38, I don't know how to correct it, old dog, new tricks, know what I mean? 

But enough about rectal bleeding, I am moving on to a new topic. This will be a new direction for my blog, well not completely new, but different. I asked my one loyal reader to find my a work out plan I can follow from Pinterest.com to follow and yes I will be posting pics as well.  I am tired of seeing super skinny girls next to a list of workout moves that got them that body, knowing full well they had maybe ten pounds to lose to get there, I am going to start big and see what it gets me.  Who out there thinks I will be bikini ready by June?  To be honest you can not believe it, cause, umm guess what, I don't. You can't get a size 20 girl to size 8 in 4 months, I am guessing you can't even get her to a size 14 in that amount of time. I am just being a realist, and I just want to try to find some work out motivation. I need to find the right mix of eating right and working out.

It isn't all eating right, nor is it all working out, you got to do it both. But what is the right amount of both to make this body healthy and fit?

I guess we will find out.

P.S. If you need a laugh, go find "Rectal Bleeding" unless you are squeamish about bodily functions that is. 

Wants and needs.

Is it bad to want and need things? 

Before you answer you need to know where I am coming from. I grew up poor with a mentally ill mother and a workaholic father. Neither gave me much in the line of material things nor in emotional needs. I was left alone with my siblings for hours on end night or day for months on end.

Sometimes with no food, or running water or clean clothes, or toilet paper even.  So you can imagine we didn't learn very many coping skills. On any level.  Because when your energy is spent on basic needs, you can't learn emotional lessons.  And it still affects me to this day. Being isolated and alone.

I love my husband but look for reasons to fight with out even realizing it. I want to push him and every one else away. I feel like I have to fight for love and attention. Damn it, notice me. Love me. Pay attention to me.

I was sexually abused and no one knew. I was made fun of on a daily basis for the way I looked and smelled.  I was an outcast even at church and in my own family. I wore shoes until they fell apart with no socks to speak of. I had no roll model to teach me hygiene.  I was the smelly kid, for years. I even missed school because I had no clothes to wear. My mom had to make me pants, which ended up coming apart at the seams.

I was neglected.  Ignored and forgotten.  I can think of many women in my life who just did nothing. Aunts, teachers and church leaders. I even had some make fun of me. And they knew, I mean really, how could they not know? I was let down over and over. I just wanted to be loved and accepted.  Once I didn't get that from those who loved me, I moved on to the jerks and idiots who love damaged girls.

And here is the kicker, I know my childhood sucked and I know I was let down, but all I can say is that was life, be stronger cause no one cares.  Suck it up. Move on.

I really want to say, love yourself. Take care of yourself.  Build yourself up.

But, yep there is always a but, I say why? Why bother, who cares, it doesn't matter.  Won't make a difference. Give up and move on.

So not only do I reject others I reject myself. I can't even open up and love me. I can't want or need to love myself because I am not worth it.

This bothers me. But I don't have the skills to make it right. I don't know how to change it.  How to open up and accept love and let others in. How to find value in myself.

So really is it bad to want and need things? Is it bad to want to love myself and those around me in a healthy way? To need others? Really?  And how do I do it?

Go to lunch.

Salmon Patty from Costco.  With broccoli, mushrooms and peas. I cook them with a touch of olive oil, soy sauce, and a drizzle of rice vinegar after it is all cooked.

I leave the lid on so it steams. So yummy and crisp and clean tasting.

I guess I should talk more about other things in my life. I mean I am so much more than food, I mean I have kids for Pete's sake.

I also try to work out. I am trying something new, more intense 30 minutes rather than an hour of so so working out. So far so good.

Hope that was better.

Second place dinner.

I was hoping to have bean and Bacon soup tonight for dinner, but that didn't pan out. Instead it is oatmeal made with water. Yuck!

I guess I shouldn't say yuck, it just isn't my first choice. But I didn't think of the beans and Bacon yesterday to start soaking the beans. So they are about two hours away from being soft enough.  So they will be Saturdays dinner.

And tonight I eat regular oatmeal with apples, raisins and spices.  Not my favorite but could be worse. I also sweetened it with agave if that means anything to you.

But if my brain starts working I may realize that agave has fructose which is not seen the same as sucrose in your brain. So I might have to find a new sweetener. Yippie!

This oatmeal is quickly taking on the taste of raw bread dough, if this keeps up, I will be on to dinner #3.

Nuts for bananas.

My breakfast,
Banana smoothie,
Two bananas
2 cups skim milk
1 container of light very vanilla yogurt
Two handfuls of ice
1/4. Cup of original  instant oatmeal (had a open package I wanted to finish off)
1/4 cup slivered almonds
A drizzle of agave nectar
Several shakes of ground coriander
Add all ingredients to blender.  Blend until smooth, serve immediately. 
It made about 6 cups.  I had about three.  It wasn't too bad, next time I would use more oatmeal. 

Dinner, but was it enough?

So tomorrow I will be more organized and do all this at once, but here is my dinner.  I had oven baked seasoned chicken tenders, sweet potato, with salt-n-pepper and cinnamon.  Then roasted Brussels sprouts with olive oil, walnuts and red pepper flakes.  I am also pleased I didn't stress about finishing my food, I just couldn't polish off all of my dinner and didn't think twice about tossing it. That is new for me. Something I have been struggling with for a long time now. 

It was pretty good, but since I am back to healthy eating that means no eating after seven pm. But I broke that rule, I had some raw baby carrots. I just needed something to munch on, that feeling of eating, more than really being hungry, I mean for petes sake I just ate dinner.

Speaking of breaking rules, I also had a rice cereal treat and a spoonful of chocolate mousse. It was so yummy. I must say that I made sure my teenager polished off the last if it, (yeah I am a real meanie forcing my bottomless pit of a son to eat all sorts if treats I am tempted with.) Because it takes a bit to completely get back into the swing of things, so I am not going to beat myself up over it.

I am waiting for the boys to get into bed, than I will attempt a work out. Yeah, attempt cause it has been two weeks. I am worn out and out of shape again. So I am going to take it easy.

Salad, oh how I have missed you.

So here is my lunch, the first one if 2013.

Yep it is salad, with mixed greens, tomatoes,  mushrooms, a egg, yep just one and some chopped up Turkey.

Yes it is a big salad, I need it today, just like I needed the light dressing and cottage cheese. 

I am starving and will be for a long while, so bring on the veggies.

Notice the two pans in the background?  Those are rice cereal treats, one batch even has dark chocolate chips added. I am sure they are good,  but I won't be eating any today. Thank you very much.

Starting a day early? Maybe not.

I wanted to get back into eating healthy again, I was going to start tomorrow, but with the way my ring finger feels, with an ever increasingly tight ring on it. I NEED to start today. Today!

But the issue is it is very hard to stop eating sweets and treats, even harder when they are right there daring you to eat them. Like left over dough dogs, or scones as some of you might know them.

Although if I can make it through today, tomorrow will be easier.