Hickies?? Making out? Do kids do that anymore ?

When was the last time you got a hicky? I don't even know if I am spelling that right.  Do kids even give hickies anymore? 

Well I just got one tonight.  Crazy right?  What is a 40 year old lady doing with a hicky?  Making out with her husband, that's what. 

It is right on my neck,  it's going to be a pain to hide.  Hubs said I should just say, "yeah so we got on hot and heavy", and maybe I will.  Especially if my teenager is around. 

Sorry it has been a while.  I am completely a mess.  I am back to my original weight,  and I am bummed about it.  I keep getting too sick to work out,  and we started marriage counseling.  At least that is going on.  Not too bad so far.  And get this the sex had been better since we started,  who knew? 

TMI?

Tough!  My blog.  Don't like it,  go start your own.  Oh wait you already have one.  Who doesn't?  Oh yeah my mom, that's who.  (Regular show anyone?)

I am having mixed feelings about Christmas,  maybe I will share them another day. 

After proof reading this maybe midnight isn't the time to update my long neglected blog. My bad. Yikes I am really showing my age,  off to bed I go. 

Rolling deep fog.

Suicide is a very complex issue, why a person would do it, how it affects their loved ones. Lots of questions are always left unanswered, things left unsaid, feelings never shared.

Some say it is an easy way out, that they are weak and selfish, but do you really know, do you know the voices in their minds that could not be silenced? Do you know the demons that consumed all the light in their lives?  Or how long they fought over and over to crawl out of the void that surrounds them? 

These are not passing thoughts of fancy, coming and going on a whim, like the latest fads catching your eye, but rather ones that roll slowly in, inch by inch, like a slow moving fog, settling down and clouding out any and all light, until you are left in complete grey, devoid of color and sight, and it is so dense that you can't see those right there in front of your reaching out to help you. Because in their minds, they are all alone. Carrying with them a despair that is so hard to carry, they become numb to everything, shutting everyone, and everything out.

Some may say it was a good thing, that they are now at peace, in a better place. Free from the pain and hurt.

While on paper that may seem so, that they are free of the pain and suffering that drove them to act on a decision they can never take back, it isn't true, freedom does not come through death. Yes their temporal pain may be gone, but they are not free of consequences of their choices.

They will now know the pain they caused their loved ones, more than they ever would have in real life, because they no longer have the isolating, desperate thoughts dominating their minds, they can now look beyond themselves and see how much their choice, as some call it, really changed the path their loved ones were on, because once a person dies, those close to them are never the same, never.

While they may feel as if they are doing their loved one a service by ending their lives, that they are making it a better place. This is false thinking, a logic that can't be worked out in their minds, because they are not able to see beyond themselves, it is not selfish of them, because they believe they are a burden, with their deaths they are freeing the world of the undeserving, they may even see it as a gift they are giving us.

With suicide, the pain they wish to escape does not dissipate and fade away, it passes on to the living. Death leaves a void, never to be filled by any amount of time. Those left behind get no closure, get no peace. They are drug into that slow moving fog, lost, wanting to find peace, and to feel no pain.

As a mentally sound person this does not make sense to us, we can see the flaws in these thoughts, but we have light and direction, we can see beyond ourselves, the mentally ill do not always have this luxury, to them death is just another way to find comfort and light, because in heavy darkness, the small spark of death promises so much, it can be a fantastic beacon that can't be denied.

The one thing that is never changeable, never reversible, never to be undone is death.

Mental Health needs more understanding, more compassion and more support. We need to no longer be ashamed or afraid, we can no longer sit by and do nothing, we need to reach out, we need to be a voice that brings change, stand up for those who can't. We need to be the light, we need to change how the weak in our society are treated. We need to focus on loving others, not finding fault and cause to destroy each other

Stand up for yourself, make your voice be heard, you are not alone. No one is alone. The spark of death isn't the only thing to lead you out of the fog. Speak up, let us hear you, again and again.

Today was a very busy day, really.

So we left early, ran errands, checked phone prices, finally got new phones, I hope these work better. the last ones we straight from hell, the worst ever, or maybe it was the carrier hard to say really.

 I also got a reward meal, at Sizzlers, yes I know not the fanciest of places, but I am a sucker for their Malibu Chicken, if you haven't had it in a while you should it is so much better than before, and so is the salad bar, they now have pop corn chicken for the boys.

But the best part of today was that I challenged myself, I often thought about running to the rec center, while the Hubs drives the boys down, and tonight in 90 degree weather I did it, on the spur of the moment, not fully ready nor planned for, but I did it, I was slow, so slow, I was hot, and I chaffed in all the wrong places, (is there a right place to be chaffed?) I wasn't properly hydrated, and I had to walk some, it was a total of 3.5 miles, but I did it, in less than an hour, with most of it walking to be honest, but really I can use this as a jumping off point and try it again, with proper water, proper chap stick, proper pockets and a fully charged ipod. Better chaff protection. And I know next time will be faster and better.

I also went swimming with the boys once I got there, so I feel pretty good about today, I might even do some arm and ab work before I shower.

Good night, sweet cheeks.

Carrot Juice

I guess I should have taken a pic, I juiced some carrots and other veggies last night, but it can be a lot of work, maybe next time I will just toss it all in a crock pot and let it cook to mush and blend it up as soup.

I have been out walking already today, so that is a good start.

Just need to learn to be comfortable with feeling hungry. Which I am not really, just have a void that I try to fill, by not feeling, just eating.

Yeah, Yeah, yeah....

So I am sure you have heard this rant from me before, but here it is again, because well the weight is here again, add to the fact that I turn 40 next month, that hit me like a ton of bricks yesterday, and I realized I don't want to weigh this when I turn 40, so here I go again, but this time it is 47 days to 40 count down, I really want to drop at least 10lbs between now and my birthday. So please pray for me, I am going to need it.

I am going cold turkey, off everything yummy, and on to everything lean and green.

I am getting stressed out, so I better stop thinking about it, and writing about it, I hope I can keep up with blogging about it, we shall see.

Just a thought I had running around in my head last night.

Ok, so I am LDS, yep a Mormon, and while I use this post to talk about my life struggles, I don't really preach from here, but I felt fake by not expressing my views on whether our church treats women the same, it isn't really about the Priesthood, I don't think, I think that is picked because it is clearly one difference between men and women in our church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I think this is about feeling less than, not as good as, and I don't feel that way as I head to church on Sundays.

***please note what I am writing is my own personal beliefs, and feelings, I do not claim to be an expert nor a spokesperson in anyway for the church, but just for me and my testimony.***

Sure don't get me wrong, sometimes I felt like we focus more on the Priesthood and the rights and privileges that come with it, but that is because I was looking for that, when another sister in my ward pointed out my flaws on this point, and I realized that maybe my family life was one of the causes for my oversight, I grew up with six brothers and no sisters, I often heard, "This is for the boys..I want my boys to..girls can't come with", you get the point I am sure. If you look for the negative, or for only what you want to see, you will find it, but it doesn't mean the opposite isn't there to be found as well. And just because I felt like there was more time spent on it, never did it mean I have wanted or longed to have the Priesthood, or that I resented it. I realize that the Priesthood is a calling and blessing that needs to be honored, and respected, because it blesses everyone within its reach, male or female.  But so is Womanhood, it is a calling and blessing that needs to be honored and respected, because it too blesses everyone within its reach, male or female.

But even if I feel like we focus on the Priesthood a bit more than Relief Society (a large women's organization in our church, we have our own female leaders, and our own meetings and classes) this does not mean I feel like women are second class citizens, because we aren't, if anything we are greater than, we are held is greater regard, we are built up and protected. The church leaders through out time have called for the men to respect and cherish the women in their lives, that women are the greatest gift the lord has given them.

Of my six brothers, four are very active in the church and hold the priesthood, as my father did and both my grandfathers and many uncles, cousins and friends, as does my husband and my many brother in laws, I have benefited from having the priesthood in my life, without being ordained. This is not to say my two other brothers are less than for not holding the priesthood, they are both righteous men, who love their families and who's blessing help their families as well. It isn't because they are men, or because they are or aren't priesthood holders, it is because of their faith and the faith of those around them.

Really when it comes right down to it, the blessings that come from the Priesthood are received because of a persons own faith, not the men exercising their Priesthood callings, but the individual on the receiving end, whether it is blessing, the sacrament, or Temple ordinances. I am entitled to all the same benefits and privileges of the righteous priesthood holder because of my faith, not my sex. The priesthood isn't given out to men, just because they are a man, they have to be found worthy to be a priesthood holder.

I love being a woman in my church, I love the Young Woman's program and the Relief Society, I love having the bond with the women in my ward, I would miss this if we were all given the priesthood, we would no longer have our own meeting and classes, we would be with the men for everything, we would be one of the rank and file, that to me is sad, that I wouldn't be seen for the woman I am, but just another ordained Priesthood holder.

Or maybe that isn't what some see as our future, maybe they just feel that some woman should receive the Priesthood, special ones, that are truly worthy and regarded in high esteem by the Lord. I don't know how making us all the same makes us equal, well maybe it would, but we wouldn't be special, neither would the men, and again that makes me sad, to be made the same as man, which isn't the way we were designed. Why not embrace your differences, while honoring the Lord and his plan for us?

One last note, one thing I think some miss in the church is that for a man to enter the Temple they must be a worthy Priesthood holder, but as women, we just need to be worthy, we are in the lords eyes (I feel) closer to the Lord than man, just in our nature, and with this, we are enough, just who we were, we do not need to be ordained to enter the Temple, this is an extra step men have to achieve to enter. And as all members know, the Temple is the Lords House and we are all entitled to the blessings found there, and viewed as we are, and will be, based on our faith and obedience, not our positions in the church or our sex. 

I love the women in my ward, and my family and my friends, whether they are in the church or not, and I love that we are special and unique in the eyes of the Lord, Priesthood or not, because it is our own faith that matters, regardless of who we are and where we are in life.

I am sure this might be seen as ramblings by a brainwashed sheep, who doesn't see just how the Man is keeping her down, but trust me, I know how the lord feels about me, and that is the only Man, that ultimately matters.

Sewing Room.

I can't wait to get my sewing room done, I have done a bunch of crafty things, I did some cool painting, I even drywalled. All that is left is the trim, and who knows when I will be able to get to that.

I am happy with my results, I can't wait to get to all sorted out and pretty.

dum..dum..de dumm dumm.....

yeah I guess that is all I got.

Well isn't that just dandy.

I have to say that I am very sad, very, very sad and empty.

I have been working very hard on creating a sewing room downstairs, from a room that was very raw, no dry wall, no floor, no insulation, just one wall, some shelves, and peg board.

So I added stick on vinyl tiles, added insulation, drywall and paint. I even took down the shelves to paint under the stairs.

I am very excited about this for many reasons, whoohoo my own sewing room, whoohoo, more room in the basement, whoohoo, get to practice my design skills.

But I am sad because my husband does not share my enthusiasm for this, he is bugged, put out, annoyed, aggravated.  He doesn't compliment me, just gets bugged about all of it.

Just wish I he could complement me, see the value I am adding to the house. I am not asking for unbridled excitement, just not the silent treatment. 

I am also doing this on the cheap, hand me down tiles, left over primer, second hand accessories.  I haven't spent two hundred bucks even.

I would hope more space and order would be worth that little.

I am sure he has his side, the money spent with out being discussed, the messier house, less time with your wife, I am sure there is more, I get it, but how much does support cost?

Todays fat burning tip.

We have a small house, compared to today's standards, but it isn't tiny, and in this house we have a downstairs family room. Also our house isn't insulated, in anyway really, so you can hear everything everywhere, so if the boys want to go downstairs and watch tv it isn't a bad thing. I can hear them, I can feel them jumping and bumping around the room. Also there is a kiddy gate to sorta keep them corralled. Unless they use a ottoman and a cooler to jump it, well slowly hurdle it.

It is also a very ummm, well,  umm,  it is furnished in a college frat boy sorta way. Two beds, one chair, two tv's, and a treadmill, with a built in bookshelf, actually the wall was bumped out for a three foot section to be made into a bookshelf. I hate it, but hey what can you do, when you have to spend money taking care of all sorts of other issues with your house first, like oh the sewer and roof.

One thing about the boys being downstairs is that I get kid free tv time, which is rare around here, I also get kid free climbing on mom time, well no one is climbing on me when they are down there, so it is just no climbing time I guess, not just kid free climbing time, just to clarify. But I also don't hear any whining and endless request for stuff to eat, and no toy tug of wars.

There is how ever one side effect, the extra workout, because I do find myself running up and down the stairs over and over, to take care of them, and the laundry, and anything else I might need from down there, it is making me sweat, so much so I might forgo the trip to the gym.

So there you go parents, my tip for the day, move the kiddos to another floor and let the fat just melt away. Unless you are a horrid parent and don't check on the kids, or do laundry, then this won't work for you, sorry.

lost slipper....

I am running around with one slipper on, I feel like a peg leg pirate doing the walk of shame. 

Yep that's all I got today.

On second thought...

I was pretty sure this blog was going to be about my love affair with food, and how I need to Break it off. But instead it will be about my lack of parenting skills.

My two youngest are curently in the kitchen, playing with everything, even the stove, well oven really, the inside of it, yes I know this is bad, yes I know they shouldn't, yes I know, I know, I know. They will trash the kitchen, themselves, and the rest of the house, but right now I don't care. So what if the oven rack is now being played like a musically instrument, and the pot lids are crashing to the floor.

I can say this because while they are in there trashing everything, I am in here, in the living room, away from my children, who are not hitting, not biting, not name calling, not climbing on me. I don't know if you know this or not, but little children have very sharp elbows and knees, and well every bone they have really, it cuts right into you, leaving all sorts of bruises. I am sure I look like a punching bag some days. A dirty smelly punching bag that hasn't taken a shower in days, with turnover crumbs down the front of its over sized men's shirt, bright pink comfy pants. (sexy I know) (did you catch the turnover crumbs, there is part of that love affair with food I mentioned)

Also if I go in there, I will see the mess, and I will then have to punish my children, which means dragging them to time out, and extending the time out for throwing things at the door, and then getting them out of time out, only to have it start all over and having them cast dirty looks my way.

Yes I will get up, yes there will be a mess, yes I will talk to them and try to get them to help me clean it up, but will end up doing it all myself, no fear I am not a complete lackey, I just want a few minutes peace while no one is showing me their mouths full of half chewed pretzels, and some how simultaneously screaming MOM, MOM, MOOOOMMMMM!!

Oh sweet peace, please let this five minutes, turn onto twenty, please, just this once?

BTW, I am not a horrid mom, I took both to the zoo this morning and pushed them up and down all sorts of hills, and lifted them up to see the sleeping leopard, and waited patiently with them, until the polar bear poked out her noise, just so you know. 

The Weight Loss Battle

So I have been thinking, about what it takes to lose weight, and how everyone and anybody will tell you how to do it. Eat more carbs, eat less carbs, Eat no carbs, avoid sugar, watch your fat intake, count calories....

But really it comes down to one really simple fact, to lose weight, you need to learn to be comfortable with being hungry. Yep that simple, sounds easy right?

I know I know, you might want to punch me or just laugh and mock me. But think about it, it really doesn't matter what you eat, but how much you eat, you can eat 1300 calories of sweets in a day and as long as you burn more calories than that you will lose weight, you can also eat 3000 calories of fruits and veggies and if you burn less than that in a day, you will gain weight, and a number of trips to the bathroom as well.

So bottom line it is watching how much of what you eat that really matters and to do that, you need to learn to feel hungry and to be comfortable with it. Really comfortable with it, and to do that, it isn't trips to your fridge, but trips through your emotions, and thoughts and triggers. That is the hard part.

Hunger can be for more than just food, it can be for control, or love, peace, or comfort. Lots of reasons, enough for every one trying to lose weight. And that is really what makes it so hard, most don't want to feel that pain, that hole inside of them, so regardless of how much food they eat, it doesn't do what they want, so you will eat more, and more, because food really doesn't replace that Hunger for love, comfort or control, never, not even chocolate! Because that is not what food is about. Food is about fuel for your body, sure it may sometimes be pleasurable, but you body doesn't sort out food for pleasure and food for fuel and burn it differently, and not store it as fat, because the food was so fun to eat. It will process your food the same way regardless for the reason to eat it. If only, it would be so nice, I would eat everything I enjoyed and love it, because I wouldn't weigh what I weigh now. But no life isn't that easy, never is. 

So once a person can be comfortable with feeling hungry, feeling that emptiness, the deep wide hole inside not being stuffed with crap and junk, or lots of peaches, a person can then work on that hunger and move past food as a way to satisfy it.

Because really food is fuel, not love, not comfort, not control.

So what are you hungry for?

Please, seflish jerks, don't have children.

So I am thinking about a sad situation I had to witness a while back, and it was all due to really selfish parents. So please if you are a self centered asshole, who only thinks of themselves, who's response to every situation is "what about me, what do I get out of this." Then please do the rest of the world a favor and don't reproduce.

You will not only mess your children up, but you will affect the rest of the world also, because your children won't be healthy and happy. They will be insecure messes, that are emotional drains on anyone close to them. Leaving them with sad empty relationships. And you will be left having to share your time, happiness, and general well being taking care of a life suck (as you would call them) won't be happy either.

So find yourself another selfish jerk, both get fixed, or spayed and neutered, (what ever creatures of your nature would need to have done) and then go at it. But please don't bring innocent children into your vapid, self centered black hole. Because why do that to yourself, why create a child that will just take away from your glorious self. Save us, the rest of the world from damaged children.

But because you're the selfish jerk that couldn't help but want a mini you, won't listen, and soon you will find out the mini you takes away attention from yourself, so you can't be bothered to raise them right, with love and attention, so they have a fighting chance. Instead you ignore them, abandon them, and leave them with trust issues, so you can what? Find yourself, follow your dreams, get high... please, you don't find yourself, you be yourself. So just do the rest of us a favor, and save yourself the trouble and just don't have children.

But then again, since my husband is in the business of helping messed up humans, then by all means, keep it up, job security is always a good thing.

Potato Salad 101

Here is the deal with my potato salad, it is never the same way twice, but it is always yummy. I don't think I have ever had a recipe for it, just watched my mom, and knew what I liked. So what I have listed below is something you can tweak, like adding more mustard, less onion, what ever. This is for four to five servings. Takes about 60 minutes to make, and a few hours to chill.

3 good sized russet potatoes, washed, peeled, raw
1 small to med sized onion, white, yellow, red, or a punch of green onions.
3 hard boiled eggs, peeled
1 celery stalk
1-3 pickles depending on size, or  1-3 scoops of dill pickle relish
1-3 cups of salad dressing of choice, like mayo, miracle whip, best foods, what ever you like
1-2 large tablespoons of mustard
1/4 cup of either vinegar or pickle juice
salt and pepper to taste
seasonings to taste, 1-3 teaspoons such as dill, paprika, parsley, celery seed, all, one or two, none
1-2 teaspoon of sugar, but not required

Dice the peeled potatoes into bit sized cubes, add to salted water and cook in boiling water until they are fork tender, if they are too soft they won't hold up, and you will have mashed potato salad. Yuck.

Once cooked, drain potatoes and while still hot drizzle the vinegar or pickle juice on top, the potatoes will soak up the juice and be more flavorful. If you are using dried spices you can add some of them now as well, to help infuse the potatoes with flavor.

Dice the onion into small pieces, and add to potatoes.

Dice the eggs into small pieces, add to potatoes

Dice celery and pickles/ or relish and add them as well. Again as much as preferred.

Top mixture with dressing and mustard, stir in coating the potatoes, start with a cup or so of dressing, and add to mixture to get preferred texture, if you want creamy salad add more dressing.

Taste the salad, add salt and pepper as needed, and other spices as needed, if it taste a little flat, the sugar might be just the touch you need, really I know, unexpected, but sometimes sugar can be the missing touch to a lot of meals. Or a splash of lemon juice. Cover and chill in the fridge until ready to eat. When stored for some time in the fridge, it may get a little dry, just add more dressing.

This is my basic recipe, but you can change it up, add jalapenos, or bacon, top with cheese, use greek yogurt instead of mayo. Use lime juice, instead of pickle juice, toss in avocado instead of eggs. Add olives, or capers. That is the best part of potato salad, it can let you get really creative.

Enjoy!!

What I have noticed with my little boys.

So when my oldest was young, it seemed rather easy to have children, he wasn't too bossy, or loud, or much of a stinker, so I figured, heck I am really good at this parenting thing. Well sister I was wrong, way wrong, I wasn't a good parent, I just was lucky to have a good kid and only one of them.

I now have two more of them and sister it isn't easy. It didn't double my work load, it quadrupled it. The fighting, the yelling, and disagreements, and that is just with my hubs and I.

I am a stay at home mom, and I am on duty 24 hours a day, I actually think they cram more hours into our days as a stay at home parent than others, just because the days can be sooooo long, and sooo draining. When you look forward to Arthur on PBS instead of Peg plus cat, you know what I mean. "I have a really big problem."

(Really it isn't a really big problem, that is just from the show, Peg + cat, it is said over and over.) 

But somethings I have learned are that my boys can go from one emotion to another faster than a woman PMSing, and as a PMSing woman I can say that. They can hate you, then boom, love you. They want to be left alone, and then, cuddled all day. I find it is a lot easier to deal with them when you let them take the time to figure these emotions out and get them to use their words, to realize what is making them feel this way, I don't mean an hour of psychoanalysis, but just letting them know, this is what angry feels like, when you take someones toy, it hurts them. That way, it is easier to distract them, and help them move past the fits and tantrums. Because it gives them more control and power over their surroundings. But it also means I get a lot of, "I am so mad at you mom" moments. But I also get a lot of hugs and kisses, just a few minutes later.

One other thing I have learned is kids watch for every reaction, to everything, I mean EVERYTHING. How you laugh at bad words, how you give in after the tenth time, of asking for ice cream cones. How you shriek, when their cold toes touch your warm legs. And if they get a pay back or a reward by that reaction, whether good or bad, they will do it over and over again. If they find it funny to yell boo right in your face, and you tell them you hate it, guess what, you get "surprised" all day long. You laugh too loud at a joke, you hear it thirty times an afternoon.

I am not saying don't react, I am just saying be prepared and ready for what you respond to, good or bad, because it will be repeated over and over and over and over.

Speaking of repeated over and over, once your child is old enough, he will spill the beans and tell all your secrets to every and anybody, that is one of the real reasons you don't fight in front of your kids. Unless you love the cashier at the grocery store knowing you called daddy an asshole. Just an example, really never happened to us, really I promise. Or your spouse knowing just how often you run out to get fast food. Or your Mother to know what you thought of her Christmas presents.

Lastly, boys love body parts and what they do, they love farts, snot and poop, they will pee anywhere and everywhere. They will also make a weapon out of anything. They will take their shirts off to wrestle each other, and they will talk about killing the bad guys and villains. Just the other day my four year old ask if there are new eye's doctors use to replace the eyes that villains rip out of other people. I was thrown off by it, but I didn't react, just answered, nope, no new eyes, once they are gone, they are gone. I don't know where this came from, (maybe some whacked out cartoon on a channel that maybe they shouldn't be watching), but I didn't want to dwell on it too long, or else I would be hearing about eye transplants for the next two weeks.

I know there is a lot I don't know, and much more I do know, like Narbles are marbles, sandwiches can never have crust and must always be square, that no matter how long pretend you are asleep at night, thinking your spouse will get up with the kids when they are crying, it won't be long enough. Also that the days blend into each other, you lose track of the days of the week, the last time you had real date, or a shower even.

But I will keep getting up each morning trying again to retain my brain cells, keep my shirt snot free, and to be ready for hugs, followed by tackles at a moments notice. Because I am a parent and my kids need me to be there, as a constant reassurance that they are loved and wanted.

Birthday Cake, Damn it, don't use those words unless you mean it.

So I was all excited to make a birthday cake for a dinner I was invited to, I was thinking Lemon cake, with raspberry filling, and whipped cream cheese frosting, using real cream of course, with maybe either toasted nuts or coconut on top, because silly me, I gave up chocolate for Lent, even though I am not Catholic, or Lutheran, or Orthodox, insert any other religion that I might have missed that observes Lent, sorry no offense meant, just lead a sheltered life growing up.

Lent is a really long time to do with out something, but it is a good lesson, and true chance for reflection. Like why chocolate, what was I thinking, are you kidding, you completely forgot about Shamrock shakes that are all abound right now, that are really really yummy with a touch of chocolate added, but there is the extra side effect of Lent, all the fish sandwiches popping up everywhere. Even the local grocery store has their version, but I am not running out to taste theirs, but I have had a few others, and so far Arby's is the winner. I know Arby's, who knew.

Any way, enough about Lent, back to birthday cake. Turns out it wasn't birthday cake after all they wanted, in fact they wanted cobbler. Cobbler!! (booo, hisssss, booo)

Now don't get me wrong, cobbler is great, but not for the second function in a row, and definitely not when birthday cake is advertized. Cake and cobbler are not the same animal, not even close, one is fake healthy with its fruit and everything, the other is completely bad, really bad, with fat, and sugar and yummy goodness, the cake and the frosting, yummmm......., cobbler is the same all the way through, warm fruit, with soft crumbly stuff. Not the same. Not even with ice cream.

Don't tell a room full of ladies cake will be there, when it will not only not show up, but when you have a completely unsuitable replacement. That would be like advertizing Ryan Reynolds, and instead having Steve Buscemi head line instead, sure both can act, but only one you want to invite over for birthday cake.

But really all of this is pointless, I am not even going, sick babies, I made the cobbler, some one came and picked it up, and I am sure it will be eaten, by polite little old ladies, with polite little smiles on their faces, all while they are plotting someones long painful death, because they too know, cobbler is not birthday cake.

Did you notice that run on sentence?  Nope probably not, they sneak up on you, Jane Austin was very good at those run on sentence, some taking up half page, but she was such a good word smith, most go completely unnoticed.

I think I need to run out and get myself a fish sandwich and a side of cake, or maybe rent The Proposal again. 

Long time again, but it is because I loathe myself, nothing serious.

So I am fat again, not as fat as I have been, just far from my half way goal, about 18 pounds away, which yes, sucks, sucks big time, I hate it, and I haven't really done much about it, except feel like an idiot and stuff my face more. So there you go. I make it worse.

But really that is a lie, I am working out more, lots more, we got a family pass to a city rec center that has a pool, track, cardio room, and plenty of weights, but the best part, they have free babysitting, which I love. I was worried that hubs wouldn't let me use it for the boys, but he soon realized that working up a sweat made me an easier person to be around, aka, less of a bitch. So he grins and bares it. I go and get really sweaty and gross, but I love it. The boys have been sick the last few days, probably from the above mentioned free daycare, then I also became sick for a day or two, so it has been a while since I have been able to work out, but the long hours in bed, zonked out, while Hubs watched the boys wasn't bad. (actually quite nice, thanks babe)

There is a lot I want to talk about, but I know long post get boring, so I will cut this short, I just wanted to say I am alive and not buried in the back yard.

Enjoy your day, go get sweaty and put down that doughnut, seriously, put it down.

Just kidding, enjoy!!