Suicide is a very complex issue, why a person would do it, how it affects their loved ones. Lots of questions are always left unanswered, things left unsaid, feelings never shared.
Some say it is an easy way out, that they are weak and selfish, but do you really know, do you know the voices in their minds that could not be silenced? Do you know the demons that consumed all the light in their lives? Or how long they fought over and over to crawl out of the void that surrounds them?
These are not passing thoughts of fancy, coming and going on a whim, like the latest fads catching your eye, but rather ones that roll slowly in, inch by inch, like a slow moving fog, settling down and clouding out any and all light, until you are left in complete grey, devoid of color and sight, and it is so dense that you can't see those right there in front of your reaching out to help you. Because in their minds, they are all alone. Carrying with them a despair that is so hard to carry, they become numb to everything, shutting everyone, and everything out.
Some may say it was a good thing, that they are now at peace, in a better place. Free from the pain and hurt.
While on paper that may seem so, that they are free of the pain and suffering that drove them to act on a decision they can never take back, it isn't true, freedom does not come through death. Yes their temporal pain may be gone, but they are not free of consequences of their choices.
They will now know the pain they caused their loved ones, more than they ever would have in real life, because they no longer have the isolating, desperate thoughts dominating their minds, they can now look beyond themselves and see how much their choice, as some call it, really changed the path their loved ones were on, because once a person dies, those close to them are never the same, never.
While they may feel as if they are doing their loved one a service by ending their lives, that they are making it a better place. This is false thinking, a logic that can't be worked out in their minds, because they are not able to see beyond themselves, it is not selfish of them, because they believe they are a burden, with their deaths they are freeing the world of the undeserving, they may even see it as a gift they are giving us.
With suicide, the pain they wish to escape does not dissipate and fade away, it passes on to the living. Death leaves a void, never to be filled by any amount of time. Those left behind get no closure, get no peace. They are drug into that slow moving fog, lost, wanting to find peace, and to feel no pain.
As a mentally sound person this does not make sense to us, we can see the flaws in these thoughts, but we have light and direction, we can see beyond ourselves, the mentally ill do not always have this luxury, to them death is just another way to find comfort and light, because in heavy darkness, the small spark of death promises so much, it can be a fantastic beacon that can't be denied.
The one thing that is never changeable, never reversible, never to be undone is death.
Mental Health needs more understanding, more compassion and more support. We need to no longer be ashamed or afraid, we can no longer sit by and do nothing, we need to reach out, we need to be a voice that brings change, stand up for those who can't. We need to be the light, we need to change how the weak in our society are treated. We need to focus on loving others, not finding fault and cause to destroy each other
Stand up for yourself, make your voice be heard, you are not alone. No one is alone. The spark of death isn't the only thing to lead you out of the fog. Speak up, let us hear you, again and again.
