Damn it

Really, I was on a roll, thought I was getting somewhere, with a new entry, but nope, I was typing something that just disappeared to who the hell knows where. 

I am just darn tired of standing on the edge of this enormous cliff thinking I gotta just take a leap of faith.  But you know what, that is all bull crap. Because who says the only way down is to jump? 

Maybe there are some stairs, or even better, an elevator with some sweet instrumental 90's grunge music playing?

Who the hell tells people that in order to succeed you have to take a leap of faith and jump.  That is sadistic, really, "hey want to take a chance on yourself,  jump off this cliff and hope something flies out of the sky and catches you or else you are mince meat."

Who came up with that?  Was it from Satan in the Bible tempting Jesus to jump?  I wouldn't put it past that bastard.
And just for that reason we need to stop using that (oh dang it, what is the right word, analogy, symbol, metaphor?) Well whatever it is, you know what I mean. 

Damn it, why can't we say, "look, try it,  see what happens, we are here to support you, you won't fall"? No we all have to be selfish aholes, "jump and see what happens", while we sit back eating pop corn waiting for the show, oh how we love to see people fail in this world.  We love to see people get knocked down and be beat to a pulp before we are willing to embrace them and cheer them as they climb back up that damn lonely cliff. 

Like what the hell, we can't just be there and be happy for them just to try something new and different?

But don't take any of this too serious,  I am just a sad, lonely, 40 year old lady, leaning over the edge of this same damn cliff for decades now, watching the bottom get further and further away, as life hands me more responsibilities, kids, hubs, house, bills, pets, ...on and on. Waiting for the leap I take, to be all that I have inside of me to be.

Well screw it I say, where the hell is that elevator anyway?